Friday, October 29, 2010
And here is a picture of Steve and I that I have been holding onto to help introduce the new blog design! Isn't he cute!! Yea, that guy beside me. We've come through a lot together and I am so thankful for him every day of my life. OK, back to schooling.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I was (again) feeling so frustrated and defeated by some things and the most annoying of all being my own sinful responses. In the silence of the night I talked with my Precious LORD about these things and this time He spoke something different to me.
Well, not different, or even new, but in a new light. I think about living from a Biblical Perspective, and teach my children to view their life through the Words of Scripture and now the Lord was teaching me.
He said "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is My will". (I Thess. 5:18). O.K, I've read that before and even "tried" it. Silly me, I know, like a child, I want to do what will make me feel better and "fix" the problem. Isn't it funny, I tell my children how to handle something, and I see in their faces that I am not giving them the answer that they want. What they WANT is one of two, or sometimes, both of these two things;
1) ...to listen to them fuss and feel all sorry for them (of course, we all want empathy, but we need to watch our hearts on this one);
2)...and/or fix their problem for them.
As the adult and the parent, I know that they need to listen to my advice if they are really going to get the best.
I'm so like them. As I sat there wondering at the "giving thanks in all circumstances idea" (command from my precious LORD), I knew that the child in me wanted something different, like 1 and 2 mentioned above.
The LORD wasn't through with our teaching time. He reminded me of a verse I had read that morning; "For by people of strange lips and with a foreign tongue the LORD will speak to this people, to whom He has said, "This is rest; give rest to the weary; and this is repose"; yet they would not hear." Isaiah 28:11-12
Was I going to trust and HEAR what He was saying?
More words from Him - "peace, rest, contentment". I felt like I was being handed puzzle pieces and I was trying desperately to put them together.
I remembered Proverbs 9:9 "Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man and he will increase in learning". I certainly wanted to be like the wise man and receive His teaching and instruction, and not like the people of Is. who would not hear, so I kept straining to listen, learn and put it all together.
I was thinking on the different spoken Words from Him - "give thanks in all circumstances, His will, hear and receive His Words, peace, rest, contentment" - as I fell back to sleep. Had I only known, boot camp was just starting.
This morning we found out that there was/is going to be a little battle to fight to bring home Asher. I was about to start our Bible time, with this weight of worry, and then the LORD said "Give Thanks now"...so I did; I truly looked for what I was thankful for and spoke it and then I began my Bible time with the children. More teaching for me from His Word flooded our Bible Time, and as I was teaching them, I was also receiving more puzzle pieces and trying to match them to the start of last nights picture.
"Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads other astray" Proverbs 10:17 What would I teach my children in this situation or would I lead them astray? Will I heed the LORDS instruction?
""The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life...." Prov. 10:11 Will I speak life into the situation and into those who hear (especially my children). How do I speak "life"? The puzzle is coming together...speak life by giving thanks in all circumstances. I have been praying for wisdom and the LORD is showing me that He has answered me. Will I have understanding (Prov. 10:13)?
"The way of the LORD is a stronghold to the blameless, but destruction to evildoers" (Prov. 10:29) Here comes some more puzzle pieces...peace, rest, contentment. How does a stronghold make us feel? Safe, protected, AT PEACE AND REST, CONTENT. What is that stronghold? The way of the LORD. What is the way of the LORD that He is teaching me today?
This is what I feel I am learning..."Hear and heed the LORDS instructions for this moment. Give thanks in all circumstances today - every time I am feeling stressed, anxious , worried, defeated, or struggling with something - for it is His will. However and ALSO, as I give thanks in todays circumstances; I am leading my children in wisdom , bringing His life and light to the situation, will feel the peace, rest and contentment that comes from obeying and trusting Him, and dwell securely in His stronghold as I walk HIS Way, and not the worlds way.”
And so my puzzle comes together tonight, and I see something very beautiful and created by His Hand, and I am thankful!!!
-praying for favor.....
-meeting Ch@ approval....
Funny, just last night, I was awake for a while, which seems to be the normal for me lately. So I prayed and talked to God. I was confessing some “poor me” attitudes and negative feelings and just asking the LORD for wisdom and help with some things.
I began to remember some Bible verses I had just read and here is what I felt HE spoke to me....
I have to get down stairs! I know this is cruel to not finish this thought,
however, I do want to go ahead a post this part so ya’ll can start PRAYING!
I’ll finish up as soon as I get the children settled with school...
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
First, I love Nadine's YouTubes...she had a great sense of humor and she also explains what she is doing so well.
I also love the African threading because it is quicker and easier than micro-cornrows or box braids, yet I still feel that the girls hair is in a protective style. I will be using this style more often and I would encourage any mother of a beautiful African daughter to give this a try.
And one more picture, just cuz she is so darn cute....love those eyes or what!!!!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Have a blessed evening!
They did make me put on one of their silly creations and giggled at me. I wonder why....
want to see?
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
REALLY, I was thinking, AND WHO PUT THAT IDEA IN HIS HEAD!! So I brought Corbin in now and took him to a quiet room and said,
"So you want to go to Oklahoma." He started crying even harder and I ask him why. He said so that "people" (siblings) wouldn’t be mean to him and hurt his feelings.
By now I was chuckling on the inside and decided to explore his line of thinking. So I asked him who he was going to stay with. He looked at me and said “You”.
Chuckling out loud now I asked if we were both running away to Oklahoma and he said yes.
I told him we would miss everyone else here, and how about he just tell me when a sibling hurts his feelings and I will take care of it. And besides I had a yummy dessert for supper tonight and we would miss it also. He smiled all big and said O.K., told the offender that he forgave her and ran off to play.
I'm so glad that I don't have to go to Oklahoma today....it would really mess up my plans and I can think of other places I would rather run away to...ummm, like Hawaii!!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
In other random news,
Steve finally went back to work today, but still feels horrible;
school has been hard with so many sick ones;
I am so unorganized right now!
And now, to interrupt random blog news with raw-ness...
I know...mothers of large families are suppose to have it all together! I’ve been telling myself for weeks “Come on Shonni, Pull Yourself Together!!!!!”. I couldn’t even tell you how many nights I wake up and think that I’ll “do better” with everything tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and things don’t go the way I was hoping! In one corner of the ring I fight with myself about the realities...sick family, interrupted sleep, LOTS of dentist and dr. appointments, etc. and in the other corner - I should be getting up earlier, planning the meals, spending better quality time with the children, doing school “better”, loving Steve better...
I’m sure my greatest enemy is myself...
A glimpse into my mind tonight....not to pretty huh? I struggle almost every day right now to post anything on my blog because if I were honest I would have to say AGAIN...”Struggling” and I figure at some point I am going to loose family and friends with that.
It’s not that anything BIG or HORRIBLE is happening...just little battles of self expectations and little voices that I hear telling me who and what I should be. And I feel wore out, unmotivated and how do you blog about that to people you love and hope and pray love you?
I have spent many days praying that I would hear the LORD’s voice and I do find comfort in HIM. Still, there is a battle and so, I share here...
and realize that what I am really showing is my vulnerability to my own idols - to do things in a way that I feel good about.
“O Lord, how I love Your Word. It is precious beyond all earthly treasures Father. Incline my heart to Your Word and break my bondage to other things. Forbid that I would be false to Your faithfulness and fill me with Your Spirit that I may serve You and You alone and find joy in that service each day. For Your Glory and to live in Your love, I pray! Amen”
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I wish I could take a nap like this little darlin'. He loves to tuck his hands up under his tummy and I have learned to put a pillow at his head, but he still moves around a lot. He does this more when I am not lying with him. I guess he is hunting for me in his sleep - ha-ha. At least he didn't fall off.
I am headed to town (again) for the last of ten dr. appointments so that we can get the required health releases for our home study - which is the only thing we need so that we can move forward with our dossier - yea!!!
Most of my family is sick...Steve even stayed home today, which he almost never has to do. Corbin's asthma is really kicking in. We are just barely staying out of the "red".
Today has been one of "those" days....you know, the kind where you feel like you're runnin' but going no where. I'm thankful that even on days like today, I am surrounded by all my darlin's. I'd rather do the crazy dance with them then to do it alone!!!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Our garage door is really the main entrance to our home. When we did the garage extension there was a mistake and the cement wasn't brought out in front of the "people" door. I have always disliked this!!!! Steve and I took two of our favorite outdoor things to work with...cross ties and and flag stone to make a new entry.
What do you think?
Yes, there where 16 dirty little feet running around Steve and I yesterday while we worked outside. We have had such nice warm days here and we took advantage of yesterday to do some tearing down and now I'm feeling all creative and heading back out with Steve to do do something....
I'll show you later what it is.
How is your week starting?
Friday, October 15, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I’ll keep you updated on how it goes.
I love you all and am so grateful that I can put up a SOS post and know that ya’ll are there. Thank you!!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
“What father among you, if his son ask for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he ask for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Luke 11:11-13
Seeing this little hand reaching out to us, as mothers and fathers, we would never consider putting something so deadly and hazardous as a serpent or scorpion into it. Why do we sometimes think that when we go to the LORD in prayer, with our hands reaching to Him, that He will give us something bad?
So many days, like this morning, I find myself desperate for Him just to get through the next moment of living this adventure that I was created to live. I find myself anxiously looking in the Bible for “something” to help. Have you ever felt this way?
And then, hope - FULLY, I pray and ask for His Holy Spirit to powerfully anoint and guide me as I mother our children! Did you notice in the above Holy Scripture that the Holy Spirit is a GOOD gift that our Heavenly Father longs to give us?!!!
So, let’s reach out our hands to Him, and not be afraid to ask, for our Father wants to fill our hands with the greatest gift of all - HIMSELF.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Remember, our families are a blessing to enjoy, not a hardship to endure....
These thoughts are from Joy’s blog, The Stay-At-Home Missionary. If you have never visited her blog, you should. I am often find encouragement on it. Joy and her family live in Indonesia.
Here is what she says is the focus for her blog.
“1. To encourage women to find their first ministry in the home, as a wife and mother.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I still have to take two children into town this afternoon for their Dr. appointments. I hope to still choose the winner for the book give away later tonight.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sooooo, we are getting the children in for their dr. appointments to get the rest of the required paper work to finish our home study for the dossier for Asher’s adoption. The dr.’s office (who we LOVE and they work so hard with us), can only get four children in for appointments in a week....2 on Tuesdays, and 2 on Thursdays, so it will taking over 3 weeks to get these appointments finished, plus I need blood work.
I started out my day thinking of all that I was going to accomplish and walked confidently into the lab to get my blood work done before heading over to the dr.’s office for two children’s well child check-ups. I had 3 wiggly children with me, but knew it wouldn’t take long because Steve told me it wouldn’t (ha-ha, he isn’t here to defend himself). I entertained my energetic 18 month old Keshawn, who was trying to explore the office, by saying to him “Where is your tummy?” and he would lovingly run back to me, lift up his shirt and show me his tummy. When that body part got boring for him, I moved on to other body parts (eyes, ears, nose...), till I finally ran out of appropriate parts to be exposed to the office, though by now, we were getting a small audience. I was thinking I should ask them to throw money to help with the adoption expenses, but that just didn’t seem right.
My eyes darted to the clock on the wall every 15 minutes, till I finally knew after an hour of waiting and minor and modest amounts of nudist exposure (Keshawn’s, not mine), that we were going to have to leave so that we could make it to our Dr. appointment for two of 10 children.
And this is one of those blood test where you have to fast for 12 hours. Now, a forced fast for blood work is different that a “I want to fast and pray today” fast, and I know I am totally being a baby now, because it was 11:00 and I didn’t want to keep fasting till after 1:00 p.m. so that I could come back in for blood work and may be wait till I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG to hopefully get the blood work done. I was imagining a call going out to my husband who is WAY up north...”Mr. Hassoldt, this is the police department...we have your wife and 3 children here...they are fine, but she keeps mumbling something about being hungry, but the child in China is worth it...what should we do with her?”
So, I DRANK....yes, instead of waiting, I decided that I will start over tomorrow with the blood work and new children to “expose”, and I drank every bit of the vitamin water that I had with me, and I did not share it with the 3 children, which was a mistake. Why was it a mistake you may be asking... because one of the little darlin’s couldn’t pee in the dr’s cup for his/her appointment no matter how hard I tried to encourage it to come...darn, I should have let them have a drink too! And, I bet you can guess, I have to take that little darlin' back with me on Thursday and try to get a pee sample from him/her.
After the appointment, I rushed home and sat down to catch up on emails, blogs and such, when I decided I would post my Black and White Wednesday picture, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard “It’s only Tuesday Mom.”
I may be blubbering by Thursday, but, I promise you there will be no nudity!
And on to some more serious topics....
I will be in town most of tomorrow for different dr.’s appointments - dentist for Kiana and Kalyn. We are having some problems with some teeth, so would you please pray for us.
Also, something really cool happened today; a local artist contacted us about photographing our family for him to use as models for some art that he is painting for a big thing happening in January. What a privilege and the subject matter if very important to us...
SO WITHOUT FUTHER ADOO,
because, who knows what day tomorrow will be...
my Wednesday Black and White photo...
and please leave a comment if you participate in Black and White Wednesday...I would love to see your pictures!!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Kiana (who was born in China) was given a cute little red thread bracelet when she came home and I decided to look for one for me to wear as I wait and pray for our precious son, Asher Eli. It didn’t take long to find the perfect thing at AdoptShoppe.com - this sterling silver Red Thread Bracelet.
Also, I have an extra copy of one of my favorite books, Reckless Faith, Let Go And Be Led. The author, Beth and her husband Todd Guckenberger established a ministry that helps orphans in Mexico. This book is her story about living with faith, with the certainty that God will show up, exactly where and exactly when He’s needed. Beth calls it reckless faith-a willingness to trust even when you don’t understand. I really did enjoy this book!!
I thought there might be someone out there who would like to have it, so I am doing a give away. Leave a comment saying that you would like to enter the book give away and I will choose a name probably Thursday.
Friday, October 1, 2010
I think it works...
please let me know if it doesn’t.
We wanted to have a little something for our family and friends to share with others to help spread the word about our new son.
I will probably change it some, but it’s a start.
This is especially difficult when we are schooling. Today has already started off with a BANG... broken sink faucet that took over an hour to fix, fights among children while Kalyn and I are trying to take care of the problem, hurt feelings (mine)...
Today brings up why my last Home Education Pillar is very important to me;
I am a mother first.
Home educating is a responsibility I have, just like I am responsible for our meals, and other areas of our home. And some days it is so hard to deal with the interruptions. I like to do our school schedule from 8 - 12 noon. And I feel really frustrated when this gets messed up.
Yesterday, one of my darlin’s had an emotional breakdown that pretty much took up 45 minutes of our school schedule. But what helps me at these times is to remind myself that I AM A MOTHER 1ST. And I really do love Motherhood!
And, if I could I would develop this thought a little more, but there are several little interrupting darlin’s that are misbehavin’. So I need to go mother.
So my last thoughts on this....
Of course you love your children, but make sure that you love your career of motherhood too!
“It’s not enough to love our children; we must love motherhood! It is only when we embrace motherhood that we enter into the joy of it and begin to experience the fullness and anointing of motherhood that God intends us to walk in.” Nancy Campbell