Monday, November 11, 2013

So Hard

to believe that this little love has blessed our lives for 13 years, and she celebrated her 14th birthday here recently.
Kiana loved the hat that I knit for her, and she ESPECIALLY loved the guitar that we got her for her birthday.  In one week she had already gone through the teaching program that came with it and now we are searching for the next best teaching program for my diligent little learner.
This precious daughter has taught me much and I have loved seeing the person that the LORD has created in her.  She is strong, yet loving, creative and funny.  We have walked through hard roads of adjustment and come out stronger on the other side because we were worth the fight.  This child was the first who opened the door of adoption to us, and I have never regretted one step of the journey.  From a scared little one year old who sucked on a rag, to a loving, secure 14 year old; each year with her has been a gift to me - yes, HER VERY LIFE, had been God’s gift to me.  
My Uncle Charles was always very perceptive, and smart.  He knew it was hard on us and hard on the children when they first came home.  He watched each one of them as they struggled and adjusted to the “new” - a family and trusting.   He watched at they grew from scared, sick little children into healthy, curious and happy children.  He LOVED seeing them become happy and secure, and he would say with a smile, “That’s what a family’s love does.”  He is now with the LORD, and I miss him getting to see Kiana as she continue to grow into a young woman.  In fact, Clive came home not long after my Uncle Charles went home to the LORD.  Clive is named after him - Clive Charles Hassoldt.  
We aren’t a “perfect” family, and I wish I “did it better” so often.  Many things have come our way that are REALLY hard, but Uncle Charles’ words still ring in my ear.  There is healing in family.

The hard days seem to out number the good sometimes, but may be that is just what I’m choosing to see.  May be I’m missing the moments when they are reading to each other, or telling each other a story, or putting a bandaid on a little one’s imagined boo-boo.  May be I am seeing the “hard” to much and missing when they are feeding the animals together and telling jokes to each other, or playing hide and seek and giving grace to the child who can’t really count past 10, over and over.  

May be the “hard” days clouds my vision and I miss a "closed off" child open up to me and give me hugs and kisses, because she is TRYING to learn to love and trust.   Or did I miss the sister who made fish pictures for her sad brother who loves “Nemo” the fish? Did I see the younger sister braiding her older sister’s hair?  Do I see the older children serving the younger ones each day?  

Yea, I see it, but I am not being thankful enough for them.  I am not SAVORING  those times enough.  It’s like I’m holding my breath waiting for the next “thing”.  
What I need to be doing is breathing in these daily gifts.  Stop, look, absorb and breathe.  
What does this have to do with a cute little 14 year old?
God used her precious life to bring a gift to our family.  The gift of children, not birthed by my body, but certainly born in my heart. 

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Our First!

 Steve and I took our first hunting trip together.  Steve has hunted several times, and as a tease, I asked him to take me on my first hunting trip.
So he did and we arrived to our chosen camping site to more snow than we were expecting.
 We weren’t deterred.  We set up camp and started a fire, because a fire always brightens a chilly situation.  Unfortunately, that fire did not help us any in our “summer” tent with no heat.  I can honestly say, it was the coldest night I have ever had.  I kept thinking “I can do this.  Bear would be proud of us.” (Bear - from Man Verses Wild).  

 All night we heard snowing hitting our tent and wondered what the morning would bring.  
 Well, it brought more beautiful snow.  But I didn’t care.  I was hoping that our hunt for elk would go well.  

 So off we set. 

We didn’t get an elk this trip, but I was still thankful to the LORD for this special “1st” for Steve and I.  We enjoyed our time together and look forward to learning to hunt together in the future.  I am also grateful because the LORD always provides for us and that is something to always remember.
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