Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Still Here

Steve drove out in the 4 degree highs and snow to bring Corbin and I a few things here at the hospital. Corbin couldn't go home today. He is still needing oxygen and one side of his lungs is still not sounding as good as it should.
Again, my emotions are kind of all over the place...we are in a beautiful hospital and the staff is just wonderful...they all love on Corbin and I. I have thanked the LORD often today, especially having just been in a 3rd world country where this care would not be available. I can just step outside my room to get good, clean water, and healthy drinks to rehydrate my son. I'm thankful for the medicine that is available to help Corbin that would not be available in an African country. I'm thankful for the oxygen that we can give him to leason the stress on his heart and brain. I'm thankful that Corbin is doing better and that the storm outside is not so bad that my husband couldn't come see us for a second today. They have a dvd player here and I am so thankful for the movies that Steve brought for us....thank you LORD for VeggieTales.


I am missing my new son, Keshawn. I looked at his pictures on the computer and wanted to cry. I am praying that he isn't looking around for me and feeling more stress as he is already trying to take in so many new things and people. I wanted to change places with Steve and go home to be with Keshawn and the others when he came today, but Corbin really wants me here with him and I know that this is probably best to help him get better quicker. All of them, except Aiden and Joeliana have had the flu. Landon is really hurting and if I could just be there I could figure out how to help him (not that Steve isn't doing a wonderful job...it's just a "mommy thing"). I am really tired, I guess from jet lag, sickness, and being awake alot to help Corbin...sometimes I feel like I'm thinking through a fog.
And, here is the selfish confession...I had it all planned (I know, you are chuckling because you have probably had "plans" also). Here was my perfect plan...come home with my new son and settle in to be pampered like a new mother should be. I know that I didn't "give birth", yet I still believe that adoptive families do give birth in a different way. Steve and I have always really set aside the time when a new one comes home to settle in and get to know each other. We especially feel this is important in adoption...our child is dealing with so many new people, places, and things. Steve is wonderful about pampering me so that I can "mother" our newest child and help the other children get to know their new sibling. So my perfect plan sort of evaporated before my eyes...
and, I'm back to my emotions being all over the place...thankful, grateful, tired, wishing, sad, and all these bring me right to the LORD, by Father...
"Thank you Father God for the gift of children, the ministry of motherhood, the love in my heart for them; the love of my husband as he cared for them and me. I'm sorry that I'm selfish and wanting things to go as I "plan"; I miss Keshawn and yet, am so happy to hear from home that he is well, is laughing at them and getting to know his new family...I just wish I was there Father God..."
A little voice in a hospital bed behind me just said "Mommy, please come sit with me." So I go to my son and we are going to enjoy an evening of George in the Jungle and pray we can go home tomorrow.
Thank you all for your prayers and sweet comments...I am SO THANKFUL FOR YOU ALL!


  1. Sending a hug and continuing to pray. Your plan can happen as soon as you get home...I am sure Steve will see to that ;-)

    You are much love Shonni.

    Still seeing the vision God gave me for you...His fire is before you. His Presence is protecting and leading the way...trust Him dear friend.


  2. Oh Shonni - my heart breaks for you and your family!

    This is a really tough position to be in!

    Our prayers remain with you and praying that you can rest in God's care for you and Keshawn during the transition home!

    Love and hugs,

  3. I'm continuing to pray for all of you. You don't have a selfish bone in your body, Shonni. God has it all under control. His grace is sufficient.

    xo Lisa

  4. Gosh Shonni...I sit here staring at the keyboard, trying to think of words of wisdom, and of course, praying... and I hear God saying... "I know and fear not for I am in control." And I'm thinking Duh... I know that, they know that... but still... I guess everything is so simple from His throne, and yet are human eyes limit us in these things... I think of how Mary must have felt when Joseph told her to pack it up, we have to leave... Mary being 8.5 months pregnant... worried about the child inside of her. Yet He did take care of that little baby, He found Him a place to be born and a safe place to sleep... Still, as Moms, we want to take care of it all... and God is telling us that He is taking care of it all. Corbin didn't get sick until you got home, God waited, because you needed to be there, indeed, a "Mommy thing". Probably... for sure... many more moments like that to come. I am so encouraged by how you face all of those Mommy moments with all of your sweet darlin's. The fact that the majority of them have a Mamma that cares and is able to take care of them is a blessing only in itself. Even though you aren't there... you are... Our Father makes sure that it is so. We are praying for you guys!!

  5. I am SO SORRY Shonni for what your family is going through! I see the blessings of your ADORALBE new son Keshawn (I loved the picture slideshow- PRECIOUS)... but also on some level understand and feel your pain and varied emotions! Although it was not my son (which would be SO hard) in the hospital, I CAN relate to being in the hospital soon after coming home with our wonderful Kody! What heartache, truly ... AND I also had plans for a smooth transition and attachment period ... yet also in hindsight God SO protected Kody's heart when I was gone! I know God will do the same for Keshawn and you! I know that at the moment does not help your mommy heart! I'm praying for you and will keep praying!
    Blessings in Him

  6. Hang in there- His grace is sufficient!

  7. Praying that you will be home with ALL of your babies soon.

  8. Hi Shonni,

    We love you all so much ... and wish we lived close enough to help.

    Hope you and Corbin are home soon. Then ... you can certainly snuggle up with your new baby and get a little pampering.

    Laurel & the gang :)

  9. Oh so often we find our plans are not God's plans. Praying for you all and hoping you can all be together tomorrow.

  10. Praying you get to go home and be pampered soon!

  11. My lovely, lovely friend

    I just cannot imagine the mix of emotions you are feeling. Gosh, so hard. I know your heart is longing to be home with ALL your precious angels. Being stuck in a hospital is so not fun. Don't feel selfish--you're a mama longing to be where you belong--home! Maybe today, sweet friend? Maybe today you can both go home. KNOW that I am praying for that!!!

    So glad that everyone at home is feeling so much better. Goodness, do we know ALL about that darn stomach flu! The things is nasty.

    Sending you a HUGE hug down the mountain. Can't wait to meet Keshawn when things get back to normal in your home.

    Love you heaps.

  12. Hi Shonni,
    This must be so difficult for you. I'm praying that your son gets to go home tomorrow. Try not to worry so much about Keshawn, I'm sure he's enjoying all the attention he's getting from all his siblings. Try and get some rest. Praying for you
    Hugs and blessing

  13. Oh Shonni, you are having a time of it. Will pray for Corbins recovery as well as the rest of the family who are ill. Also for your bonding with Keshawn. ((hugs))

  14. Been praying for you my sweet friend. Praying for a quick recovery and for your family to be together under one roof and everyone feeling better. Love you- Amy

  15. Continuing to pray in Uganda! Do not let the enemy steal your joy. Love and hugs, Summer

  16. I am praying Shonni. You will come through this trial stronger for it! It doesn't make you feel better right now but you are being refined and purified. You are your newest little one will bond soon! We are lifting up all of you in our prayers for health today!


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