So Hard

to believe that this little love has blessed our lives for 13 years, and she celebrated her 14th birthday here recently.

Kiana loved the hat that I knit for her, and she ESPECIALLY loved the guitar that we got her for her birthday.  In one week she had already gone through the teaching program that came with it and now we are searching for the next best teaching program for my diligent little learner.

This precious daughter has taught me much and I have loved seeing the person that the LORD has created in her.  She is strong, yet loving, creative and funny.  We have walked through hard roads of adjustment and come out stronger on the other side because we were worth the fight.  This child was the first who opened the door of adoption to us, and I have never regretted one step of the journey.  From a scared little one year old who sucked on a rag, to a loving, secure 14 year old; each year with her has been a gift to me - yes, HER VERY LIFE, had been God’s gift to me.  

My Uncle Charles was always very perceptive, and smart.  He knew it was hard on us and hard on the children when they first came home.  He watched each one of them as they struggled and adjusted to the “new” - a family and trusting.   He watched at they grew from scared, sick little children into healthy, curious and happy children.  He LOVED seeing them become happy and secure, and he would say with a smile, “That’s what a family’s love does.”  He is now with the LORD, and I miss him getting to see Kiana as she continue to grow into a young woman.  In fact, Clive came home not long after my Uncle Charles went home to the LORD.  Clive is named after him - Clive Charles Hassoldt.  

We aren’t a “perfect” family, and I wish I “did it better” so often.  Many things have come our way that are REALLY hard, but Uncle Charles’ words still ring in my ear.  There is healing in family.

The hard days seem to out number the good sometimes, but may be that is just what I’m choosing to see.  May be I’m missing the moments when they are reading to each other, or telling each other a story, or putting a bandaid on a little one’s imagined boo-boo.  May be I am seeing the “hard” to much and missing when they are feeding the animals together and telling jokes to each other, or playing hide and seek and giving grace to the child who can’t really count past 10, over and over.  

May be the “hard” days clouds my vision and I miss a "closed off" child open up to me and give me hugs and kisses, because she is TRYING to learn to love and trust.   Or did I miss the sister who made fish pictures for her sad brother who loves “Nemo” the fish? Did I see the younger sister braiding her older sister’s hair?  Do I see the older children serving the younger ones each day?  

Yea, I see it, but I am not being thankful enough for them.  I am not SAVORING  those times enough.  It’s like I’m holding my breath waiting for the next “thing”.  

What I need to be doing is breathing in these daily gifts.  Stop, look, absorb and breathe.  

What does this have to do with a cute little 14 year old?

God used her precious life to bring a gift to our family.  The gift of children, not birthed by my body, but certainly born in my heart. 

A Year Of Belonging

Doesn’t this picture just break your heart?  It would mine, 

if there wasn’t more to the story.

The day we left China, I’m sure that these children were scared to death, but she put on her brave face and promised the interpreters that she would not run away from us in the train station.

I had my emergency note written in Chinese to explain that I was her new mother and that I was adopting her, not kidnapping her.

My newest son was putting on his brave face too - with enough energy to fight me the next two days of travel. 

We made it home, exhausted physically and emotionally.  And I knew that now the real healing would began for my new children.  The healing that can only happen in a family where you belong.  We showed them the Texas coast, Christmas, snow, and their first Christmas gifts.  

 They met their new family - a daddy, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and Dandy and Gommy.

 They did the best they could to cope - she looked out any window she could find and cried.  He withdrew, or was naughty.  

We all held them and tried to help them as much as we could.

 But, I knew in my heart that the only answer for their grief was time, 

and lots and lots of understanding, sympathy, and love.

 A year later, it is beginning to show;  

The healing...

 ...the feelings of belonging and safety.  

 In those little faces of my newest son and daughter, I am seeing happiness, 

 silliness,

 laughter,

 and beauty where there was fear, pain and sadness. 

 They have learned what being loved is, what belonging looks like.

  And I think that they like it.

I am so thankful to the LORD that I was chosen to be their mother -

to share their journey,

to teach them the joys of a family,

and to see them in time embrace that;

I am so thankful to be apart of their story,

and to know that it has only just begun.

His First

 We had just missed this special day last year.

 The birthday when you turned eight.  

 This year though, we celebrated this day with you!  

 Yes, you turned nine this year,

 and we all loved singing happy birthday to you,

 and being silly, 

 and watching you open your gifts...

But, I am celebrating your FIRST birthday home.  The first year you have a family to sing the birthday song
 to you; the first year that your mommy got to make a cake for you; the first time that we got to see you laugh and blow out your candles; ...
this is the first year for me -
your mommy,
to celebrate the little boy who was born 9 years ago, in another country to another woman;
and to remember with thankfulness the circumstance orchestrated by The Almighty that brought my son to me.

Happy First Birthday Home Clive Charles.  I am so glad that the LORD gave you to me,
I love you,
mommy

She’s So Darn Cute!

When she is helping to put up left overs in the kitchen and can not find a lid for a container, she will say “I can’t find the hat.  Please help me.”

Since she came home, she has felt more comfortable and “safe” sleeping on the floor in our room in a sleeping bag.  That way her new mommy and daddy are always there for her.  She has learned that her mommy likes to sleep in a “cold” room.  I love to open several of our windows at night and the Colorado nights get pretty chilly.  Now, she keeps a small blanket  (that I gave her in China as a gift, and at first she totally rejected), and a fleece jacket in her sleeping bag.  Each night she “suits up” for bed time, putting on her jacket and wrapping in her pink blanket before cuddling down in her sleeping bag. 

She still puts her back to us when we try to hug her, yet she will sneak up behind us and hug our backs to get the love that her heart really desires.

She will run and hide behind our arms when something scares her.

When I took her to the orthodontist to put on the first of many braces to correct the problems of cleft lip/cleflt palette, I had to leave for just a second.  I told her, while the dr. was working on her teeth, that I was just going to the next room and would be back in just a second.  She seemed O.K. with that, till I let go of her hand and began to walk out of the room, and then she lost it.  She almost upset the dr, nurse and all of their equipment trying to turn to call for me.  It broke my heart as I ran back to her, yet, I also rejoiced...she is beginning to trust me. 

We have our hard times...
times of not being able to communicate and understand each other.  Times when I am selfishly afraid of another rejection.  Times when she comes undone, and I don’t know what to do to help the situation.   Times when I feel her rejection and fear, and I am trying to be the “adult” and help us both, but I don’t know what to do....

And then I remember what a brave little girl walked out of one room in China, crying and afraid, into an new room and a new world.  That little girl met a stranger called “mother” and she was forced by a situation to trust me.  She was so scared and her fear almost did us both in.  But the LORD had a plan.  We have walked a path we didn’t even know...
a journey to a relationship between a women in America and a little girl in China. 
We are still on the journey.  Oh, how I wish that she would let me hold her and love on her some times.  Yet, I must respect that she cannot give that right now.  So, I love her in ways that she can except; a little playful tickle here, and small hug there, and verbal affirmations, ever if she rejects them.  She will continue to hear from me that I think she is beautiful, adorable, cute and that I am so glad that the LORD gave her to me.  She WILL one day believe these truths.   She hates for us to take pictures of her and so I don’t have many of her,  Even then, I try to tell her that we think she is beautiful and I pray that one day she will know that in her heart.   
And until then, it helps me to remember...

she is so, truly, darn cute, and I am so glad that the LORD chose me to be her mother.
How I pray that one day, she knows this as well.

I Had A Dream...

O.K., may be not happy, but puzzle pieces to the picture of raising my little N and C fell into place.  
I dreamed that I was being hurt (sorry, no details)...
and I WAS hurt, but I also had someone to go to for help, and in my dream I went there for help.
Then I woke up, and as is normal for me, I tried to go back to sleep to “change” the bad dream.  
Around 4:30, I woke up, not remembering my dream, but my heart was heavy about an issue with N.  She “hurts” our dog and insects at times ... nothing serious, but still, it has upset us.  At first I thought she just needs to learn to be kind and soft.  However, I think there is more.  Backing up a touch, she described in signs and what little English she understands how children often hurt each other in the orphanage - kicking, hitting, etc..
I read a little in some of my “adoption books”, prayed, and then went back to sleep.  
I forgot about the dream, and the feelings from the night when I got up an hour later.  I went on with my day.
At nap time, I was laying there waiting for the baby to go to sleep so that I could get up and do some things, and in my resting, but not asleep place I felt that the LORD started to speak to me and give me a better picture of what my Noelani and Clive have come through.  They’re actions (bad) will give me clues to what they have experienced.  And for just a second the LORD showed me what it felt like for my precious children to be hurt and have NO ONE in the present that they could go to for help.  I cried, and I knew that I had never had to walk that road of aloneness.  Things have been hard, but I was never completely abandoned or alone as they were.  
I have never been kicked or hit and had NO ONE to help me or protect me.  
I am trying desperately to understand, not for the sake of knowledge or emotionalism, but with the prayer for my children to be healed, and for the wisdom to help them.
Last night I had a dream,
and today I have cried.

My Thoughts On Her

We saw a picture of a precious little girl in China who had a heart breaking story.  She had grown up in an orphanage for 11 years with a special need that made talking difficult for her - cleft lip/cleft palette.  She had seen other friends leave to finally go “home” to a family.  Her turn came, but then things happened and she went back to the orphanage instead home to a family.  I was so sad for this little girl and what she had gone through in her short life.  We advocated for her and prayed for her to find her family.  In a surprising twist to her story, God had chosen her family and soon I was on my way to China to bring home our new son AND her.  God gave us the name Noelani for for our new daughter.  We now call her Noelani Rose, because she wanted a middle name like everyone else in the family.  

How is she doing now, after 8 months with her new family?  My thoughts flow from “great” to “hard” all at the same time.  I read a blog written by a young lady who lives and works with orphans in China.  She wrote about how the little motherless and fatherless children that she serves and cares for have learned very well “how” to be orphans.  They have learned how to steal, lie, get attention, hide their fears, avoid trouble or fight if needed.  They have learned to rely on themselves, and expect nothing.  Decisions are made for them, and so in an effort to gain “felt safety” they learn to control what they can.  Bad behavior covers up fears and weaknesses.  And even though, in many instances, wonderful people who work in the orphanages have daily sought to care for these little ones, some where in the back of the child’s mind, that boy or girl still knows that ultimately they are alone and belong to no one. 

I have seen many of these things in Noelani (and Clive in different ways).  She IS good at being a orphan.  Ofter all, it is all she has ever known.  Only now, she is suppose to be a part of a family.  I have given them time to adjust and learn, and they have - some.  And yet I also see the struggle she probably doesn’t even notice ... the one in her heart.  She NEEDS to be loved and belong but pulls away.  She NEEDS to laugh and play like a little child, but falls back into her old patterns of being a “little adult” like she was in the orphanage.  She NEEDS to trust, but puts up walls.  She NEEDS to belong, but isn’t sure what that looks like.  She NEEDS to talk, but she’s trying to learn a new language and she gets tired and goes off alone to avoid the work of it all. 

She really does struggle to say words.  She is learning English very well, but she has “sloppy” habits of speech (probably picked up very early in life as she learned to work with her cleft lip/cleft palette).  She is hard to understand and it takes work for both parties.  

As I watch my little Noelani struggle to learn the many things that she is trying to learn, I hurt for her.  I can’t even imagine ... yet, I know that this is her story and God’s adventure for her.  Her story is how she is becoming a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, and a niece; an American and ultimately God’s little lamb who is not longer lost and alone.  

This last week she used her learned behavior of deception, lying and aloneness to ring up a nasty little phone bill of texts.  Texts sent to anyone she could find in my phone.  It has been going on for quite some time.  I had been giving her “freedom” to play alone in the school room at certain times of the day, with me just in the next room.  She also got up early knowing that Steve was in the basement exercising, and she must have snuck in some late nights as well.  We have also caught her at other times sneaking on the computer or the iPad.  A few months ago she and Clive were in trouble.  She (the older one - that’s how they operate in an orphanage), had Clive, the younger one, steal candy from the pantry.  We found scraps of trash buried in the sand and thrown in the window well.  She laid all the blame on Clive, who was to afraid to tell us that he had an accomplice.  Because the little ones learn to be afraid of the older one in the orphanage.  Truth finally came out.

However, this latest one really got us to thinking that we needed to  “shrink” her world if we were really going to help her learn to be in a family.  

So instead of giving her privileges that she is not ready for, we are working more to keep her close, teach her to ask, to listen, to play WITH us and her brothers and sisters; to BE with us.  Not as punishment, but much like I would with a newborn.  I would never leave a newborn alone, or not watch my one year old.  I would also be within eye sight of my two year old ready to correct and train.  

I guess that I thought she would mostly “learn” to be in a family by being around us, which is what Clive seems to be doing to a larger degree.  But it seems that we are going to have to “force” her to work at it a little bit more.  I understand really.  It’s easier to go off by herself and not try, but it’s not good.  My heart breaks when she “goes” off by herself.  Dandy noticed it when we were on vacation at the lake.  And it broke his heart.  She would try to talk to him, but he just couldn’t understand her, so she would finally just go stand outside alone.  We would bring her in with us, but she had already chosen to withdraw.  It was easier that way. Poor baby.  I pray that the LORD shows us how to parent her right now.  She really is an amazing little person - sweet, helpful, joyful, happy, silly, tender and loving.  

These river pictures taken last month when we went camping tell a story ... are you seeing it?  Go back up four pictures.  See her sitting in the background by herself.  She kept saying that she would hold the dogs, and I would ask her to come play in the river with us.  She kept refusing.  I finally convinced her to at least put her feet in.  I wanted her to experience being a child, a free and protected child.  She did, reluctantly.  And then her brothers began to play with her and show her how to “sit” in the river.  

Do you see it?  Pure childhood joy and laughter.  

Learning to be with a family, to laugh, to play, to trust and to speak, knowing that we care about what she has to say.  And even if it is hard for us to understand her, and it is hard for her to say the words, she does have a voice, and she has a story to tell.

I read the below verse this morning, and I think how I didn’t know “how” to be in Gods family at first, but Christ welcomed me anyway.  And we now will continue to welcome this little daughter into our family, and pray ...

pray for her to find her way,

and thank the LORD that He showed us the way, and will now show her.  

FOR HIS GLORY.

“Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” Romans. 15:7

“God of endurance and encouragement, I pray that you would grant us as a family to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together we may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ”  Romans 15”5-6

Our Day In Court

Kalyn captured some cute pictures of our day in court to finalize Noelani and Clive’s adoptions.  They are now legally Hassoldt’s.  Praising the LORD all these months later.  And remembering when I first fell in love with a darling little boy on a waiting list, and then my heart was captured by a precious little girl who was waiting. 

Who knew the journey the LORD had for us.  

Their Grief Hurts

I struggle a little about how to share this tonight.  My newest children, Noelani and Clive, have had their moments of grief and missing their old home in China.  And goodness, I completely understand that!!!  A few nights ago Noelani began to cry at bed time and she said something about China.  This isn’t normal for Noelani anymore.  She is so happy and content to have a family and to be living in America.  However, she had been reprimanded by daddy for not settling down for bedtime and I knew she was feeling sad about that.  So anyway, when she began to say that she missed China, I sat beside her, and just began to give her “permission” to miss her first home.  I told her that I imagined that she missed her teachers, nannies, friends; the old familiar foods, smells, sights, and sounds.  She cried and I tried to comfort her.  Then I asked her if I could pray for her.  She wanted me to, so I did.  Then a precious thing happened for my little daughter who is still struggling to give or receive hugs....she hugged my after I prayed, and kissed me on the cheek.  Then she said “Thank you Mommy.  I love you.”
HOWEVER, this grieving process is a whole different thing for Clive.  And his grief hurts...
it hurts him for sure;
but it also hurts me!  And that is my struggle.  
Do I share how I hurt WHILE he hurts?  
So much is written about the grief that children go through when they are adopted into a new family.  I have spent years studying and training under some of the best about this very topic.  And I am completely empathetic about the painful precess that these tender children have to walk through.  
But tonight, it became personal for me.  
We went camping this weekend, and Clive was “apart” of everything, but not really “involved”.  Yesterday he told Noelani that he wanted to go home.  She told us and we told him that we were going home tomorrow.  He was all excited and that was that.  This morning as we were packing up the camp site to come home, he was so happy that we were going home.  I thought, O.K., he just needs the security of “home” before he is ready for the greater “out doors”.   WRONG
As we drove into our drive way, Clive began to cry and wail.  I recognized this sound. It wasn’t fussing or normal crying...it was the wailing, crying sounds of a broken heart,  I knew as soon as I heard it coming from Clive’s side of the van what was wrong.   This wasn’t the home that he wanted to come home to.  He thought he was going “home” to China.
In that moment, my heart was breaking for him.  But here’s the part I don’t feel that I’m suppose to share with “the world”... my heart was breaking because I want to be his mother, but he isn’t ready for that.  I tried to hold him and comfort him, but he wanted nothing to do with me.  He shoved my hand away, and so I put him down...sad, because he was grieving, and hurting because he was rejecting me as his mother.  He just isn’t’ ready.  And one part of me understands that and will fight to give him the time he needs.
Yet, there is the more vulnerable part of me that cries because he isn’t ready to accept us as his family.  We aren’t “his” yet.  
And tonight, his grief hurts me too.    

I Hope She Let’s Us Come Back!

She is learning so much, and I am so proud of her.  Noelani is learning a new language and finding her way around a new culture.  She is so sweet and patient when she needs to be corrected.  And it is usually fun to see this new world through her eyes.  
HOWEVER, today I hope that she learned a lesson quickly.  Noelani had her speech therapy today.  After her therapy, her teacher told her to tell me what she had called her during their time together.  Noelani couldn’t remember what the teacher was talking about.  After a second, the teacher, with a bit of a chuckle, told me that Noelani had signed and said that she was “old”.  She then went on to sign and tell her that her hair was old, her face was old, and her skin was old.  The poor teacher told her that was enough, as she was beginning to feel rather OLD.  
What could I say?  After many apologies, I told the teacher that Noelani is also learning what is appropriate in America.  
I had a talk with Noelani on the way home.  I hope she understood, and I sure do hope that the teacher will let us come back.  LOL

Good Questions!

A sweet blog friend has asked some good questions about older child adoptions, and I thought that I would answer her questions here, because others may be wondering some of the same things.  
First up, I MUST STATE, every child and every adoption is different!  Each child will react differently to the new changes.   So please keep in mind that this is how our new children acted/or are acting now.
We used ASIA and loved working with them!!!
Noelani was 11 years old when she came home, and Clive was 8 years old.  
How has the transition been?  Hmmm, that's a little harder to answer.  For those of you who know about the trip to pick them up in China, I wasn't sure that we were going to make it.  Looking back and now that I know the children a little bit better, I can see that they were scared out of their minds, and that really brought out the bad and the fight in them.  Noelani is settling down really well now, loves having a family, is a very helpful little girl and generally pretty easy going.  It took some time as she tested out our rules, but she has transitioned really well.  I am very proud of how far she has come in such a short time. I thought, based off of how hard she fought us in China, that she would have a harder time than she is.  She did cry and miss China at first, but now she is very happy to be here with her new family. 
I thought that Clive would do better than he is, so you just never know.  I am a little confused by him.  As I stated earlier this week, there seems to have been some abuse.  His behavior isn't coming along quite as well as we had hoped.  He still tests us a lot, more me than Steve.  He seems "afraid" of men and behaves "better" with them.  He throws colossal fits.  He does steal things, and hordes.  These are things that we read about and are certainly not surprised by.  It's the "emotional" aspect of it all that starts to wear on us all.  
There are of course, institute behaviors that take time to retrain.  We know it takes time as the children learn the right way to act in a family.  They are learning that they do not have to fight to protect themselves;  learn how a mommy and daddy are different than the workers in the orphanage; learn to be a part of a family; learn to respect others and their property, etc..
What has been the biggest struggles?  As I said earlier, Clive is a confusion to me.  I'm not completely sure what I am dealing with.  Immaturity?  Definitely.  Emotional wounds?  For sure.  He's only 8 and there is so much I'm sure he still doesn't "get".  Also, for both of them, and us, it has been hard not speaking the same language.  We get along, and teaching them sign language has been one of the greatest tools.  Still, I know we all get frustrated with the limited understanding.  We use google translate when we have to, but, it's hard to speak heart to heart that way.  They have learned a way of living called survival, what ever that looked like.  Now they are trying to learn that they are safe in a family, that they are loved always, that even when they do wrong they will not be rejected...it will take time and we pray for them and for their healing.
Ha, here is a great example...as I type this Steve asked Noelani to do something that she didn't want to do.  She started "talking" in Chinese.  Steve said back to her "Noelani, are you complaining?  She said no and he said, "I may not understand Chinese, but that sure sounds like grumbling.  She said "Sorry daddy."
I know that some of you may still have questions.  Feel free to ask away.  I will answer what ever I can.  Older child adoptions does need one thing above all others!  Tons of support, understanding, and as much before hand information as possible.  I would never want to "scare" anyone from adopting an older child, but I will state that more support, honest acceptance, and being ready for this different ministry is very important.  
And the children are worth it all!

Awesome!!!!!!

Kalyn and I were gifted to free movie tickets.  And I got to tell you, since Steve has been gone for 3 days, we were looking forward to the break!  Steve was wonderful about letting us go too.
What did we see?  I can tell you it was AWESOME.  I cried; I laughed; and I came away even more thankful than ever for the gift of life, and the blessings that adoption has brought to my life.  The movie was “October Baby”.   PLEASE go see it.  This isn’t a “political” issue.  The issues really are love, forgiveness, and living the beautiful adventure that the LORD has given us.  
I’m am so missing sitting down and blogging, or catching up, with all of you.  I miss reading your blogs and there are several emails that I want to answer.  I am missing connecting with you all!!  I must say THANK YOU for all of your sweet comments on the last few posts.  Several of you gave great suggestions for us as we walk this new road of CL/CP with Noelani!  I am so grateful, and would mention each of you in this post as a special thank you, except I can’t even keep the children’s names straight right now.  LOL....I wanted Corbin the other morning, only I called Aiden’s name.  When I finally got Corbin to come, he promptly informed me - “I’m Corbin.”  Hey, I was just glad that I had called the right “ethnic” group.  Speaking of that, Noelani is so funny...and cute...she pretty much divides people into “Asian”, “African” and “American”... so when she asked where each child is “born from” and we get to Corbin, we tell her that he was born in Oklahoma.  She adamantly and quick corrects us and tells us that he MUST have been born is Africa because he is black.  LOL  So we let it go for now.  When she sees other “African”’s (like at the Children’s Hospital in Denver), she is always afraid for them and will say “I don’t love you, Africa”, which translates into “I am afraid of this African looking person.”  
Thank you again for your advice and comments for us as we walk this journey of healing with our children.  I love you all and am so grateful for you.

The Plan

Yesterday was an important day for Noelani.  We went to the Children’s Hospital in Denver and met with a slew of Dr.’s to come up with a plan of action for her repaired cleft lip/cleft palette.  
Noelani is very aware that her teeth and her lip is different than other people.  Her teeth are a mess.  There are two in the roof of her mouth, and others that are in the wrong place in her mouth.  Even thought she couldn’t understand most of what we talked about, she understood that she will be getting her teeth fixed, and that is very exciting for her.

I didn’t know, but often children with cl/cp have other problems associated with this defect.  One problem is usually in the ears.  There was good news and interesting news in this area for Noelani...no fluid in her ears, which they see a lot.  That is great.  However, she does have “mild” hearing loss and might have been born with it.  That was the interesting.  However, also good, she may not need any thing (hearing aids or surgery) done since she seems to be doing so well.  The one concern is that her language development, her ability to say letters and sounds, is not very good, and there is a question that the hearing loss might be effecting that.  
So the plan....
-get a healthy mouth...that is going to take some time.  She needs some teeth pulled, braces, and a bone graft surgery.  
-The most important next, but more immediate step is speech therapy.  We are meeting with a lady on Thursday.  
I am really praying for the LORD’s leading in all these area’s.  There are so many puzzle pieces that I’m still not sure of, yet, we have a plan and I remind myself often of the LORD’s advice in the Bible; “Do not be anxious about tomorrow...”  Today has enough to deal with.  I get so stressed when I start trying to “take care” of all my troubles right now.  May be my “plate” seems so full because I take on problems and things that do not belong to “Today”.  
I know I haven’t written much about Clive.  I will be catching up on my newest little man soon.
Thank you for your prayers and thoughts for us.

Desperate Situation - Where’s His Family?

1ay6f-15H

Boy, Born April 2007

Malcom has spastic displegic cerebral palsy. He is scheduled to be transferred to a mental institution in April 2012 

From a missionary who knows him:  Malcolm needs family badly. He is very emotional, sensitive and not a leader by nature and is being hurt by older and physically healthy children in the orphanage. He can hardly walk but retainssensitivity in the feet. There is a chance only in the presence ofcaring and loving parents Malcolm can walk independently in a future but in the orphanage environment the child is afraid of everything even walking. Malcolm has a favorite little toy: stuffed tiger, he carries it everywhere, he kisses it, puts to sleep, worries about it. Malcolm is interested in all new, he knows the names and colors, understands commands, has attachments to friends in a group, he goes on contact easily and is pleased to dialogue.

He can stand and sit independently, moves around on the knees. He can not walk and is afraid to start trying to walk.  

Malcolm will need a smaller, patient, loving, experienced family to help him heal from the trauma in his life. 

From his medical records:  Cerebral palsy and weak muscular tone.  He only started to walk in the hospital as he had muscles tremor. After the physical therapy, massages and injections – the tremor has disappeared.  As of today, Malcolm can walk with support and the orthopedic footwear. He can make some steps (7-8) without any help and then gets tired.   The doctors give a very favorable prognosis about his walking ability in the future: most likely he will not need a wheelchair.  He has incontinence only because he is not potty trained. He feels the processes and tells the nurse when he has soiled pampers and urinates only when the bladder is full.  Malcolm can eat with a spoon and drink from a mug independently.

He sleeps well and does not wake up during the night. After a dinner if being left alone in a room, falls asleep independently. He is an obedient child, he understands the commands and goes on compromises! He is able to agree and listen to words of adults when it is impossible to do something.  He does not show too much concentration on any activity like almost all orphans. But he has well developed cognitive skills. He loves to dress/undress toys; pack/unpack gifts;open/close cases, cars; play on children's kitchen: to wash the children's dishes, to set up the table. He loves to play with the puzzles and listen fairy tales but it is necessary to show him the  pictures in the book first and  then he would listen with more attention and will tell, that he has heard.

His vocabulary has extended lately. Malcolm is a tender and cheerful child.  A close attachment to the family will be developed when adopted.
Contact Reese’s Rainbow to learn more.

$5170.72 is available towards the cost of my adoption!