Want Peace And Rest?

No, running away will not give you that...LOL.  (Did I read your mind?)

During the quiet of 2 a.m., I slipped downstairs to get a glass of milk and my Bible.  I sadly admit that I often look to other “things” instead my Bible when my mind is in a frustrated place.  Usually a diversion of some sort to drown out the frustration.  Of course, that doesn’t work - ever.  (Oh that I would learn this lesson).

My mind was just not resting!!!  And I knew that the LORD was asking me to spend time with Him.  I took my Bible back upstairs, layed in bed with it and my little light to read with.  
I was reading Psalms 92:1-2 when some words “caught” my attention.  I have learned when this happens to stop reading, and consider what caught my attention.  Verse two says “ (It is good ,) To declare Your steadfast love in the morning, and Your faithfulness by night.” 

I prayed thanking the LORD for His faithfulness to our family each and every day  As I was praying, I felt Him showing me how to fight the worries that weighed on me at night - simply declare, (to make clear, to make plain) to those thoughts and worries His faithfulness.  I felt their power evaporating.   And what about the day time?  The LORD has that covered too.  This verse says to declare His steadfast love in the morning.  I believe that we “fight” what would steal our joy, peace and faith when we declare to them the Truth that is in the scripture.  And this scripture makes it very clear that this is a daily practice.

When I wake up and declare out loud this prayer, “It is good to give thanks to You LORD and I declare Your steadfast love this morning.”  See, that’s powerful.  That’s what His truth does.  It frees us from the lies.  Yes, there are problems and worries, but I don’t want to give them power by declaring them as truth.   
See what I am talking about?  What am I declaring?  How tired I am, the financial stresses, the problems? Or am I going to declare HIS steadfast love by day and His faithfulness by night?
Oh, how I pray for us all to be faithful in our devotion to Him and to see and DECLARE His Truth in our lives.  I suspect that we will all find a little more peace and rest!!

On My Heart

I haven’t been writing much here in this little sphere known as the “blog world”, or virtual reality - "computer-simulated environment”.  
Why?
The obvious would be time, and that is certainly partly true.
  
Health is another obvious - I haven’t felt very “Up” and lately found out that my thyroid, which was diognosed  14 years ago (Hypothyroidism - or low thyroid) had gone down pretty bad.

Or, I could blame it on the emotional “vortex” of parenting N. and C. right now.  Ugg

I have kind of tossed around whether to continue with blogging, and had to reevaluate the “why’s”.  

What I have come back to is the purpose (and my passion) for this little spot;
-I hope and pray to “Declare His Glory among the Nations”,  
And
-To encourage others to live the Truth’s found in the Bible, even when those Truths do not always match up with the circumstances.

Secondary would be to encourage, pray for, and support others in their God Given passions for His Glory, and to gratefully enjoy the like-minded friendships that I have found “long distance”.  

Right now, I apologize for not following good “blog etiquette”.   I read many of your blogs, but just do not have the time to comment the way I would like.  I do think of you and pray for you.  If you would ever like to contact me for special prayer request, please feel free to email me.  

Here is something from Scriptures that the LORD spoke to me this week;
“For it is You who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness.  For by You I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.  This God - His way is perfect, the Word of the LORD proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him.”  Psalm 18: 28-30
This week I have been crying out to Him for help in mothering Noelani and Clive (all of my children really, but especially these two).  The pain, fear and just plain ol’ bad habits that they have are really hard on Kalyn and me.  Clive does some things that are very controlling and rude towards me especially.  There is definitely a “darkness”...
I felt encouraged when I read the above verse and now pray it as a thanksgiving to the LORD.  I am thankful that He promises to lighten this darkness that these children are in, and that by my God, I will leap over their wall of pain and fear.  No doubt, only praise, because His way IS perfect; it will prove true; He is our shield.  He loves to heal the sick, so I continue to trust Him each day to heal my children’s hearts.  
Now do I “feel” this right now?  Not really.  But I must take my present “reality” and make it submit to His Truth.  

And now, THANK YOU!!!  THANK YOU for reading this blog, for praying for our family, for being a friend to me.  I am grateful to share my heart with you here, and pray that we would all encourage each other through the good and the bad to look to HIM always, and to sing praises to the ONE who lights our lamps.  May we SHINE for Him. 

My Thoughts On Her

We saw a picture of a precious little girl in China who had a heart breaking story.  She had grown up in an orphanage for 11 years with a special need that made talking difficult for her - cleft lip/cleft palette.  She had seen other friends leave to finally go “home” to a family.  Her turn came, but then things happened and she went back to the orphanage instead home to a family.  I was so sad for this little girl and what she had gone through in her short life.  We advocated for her and prayed for her to find her family.  In a surprising twist to her story, God had chosen her family and soon I was on my way to China to bring home our new son AND her.  God gave us the name Noelani for for our new daughter.  We now call her Noelani Rose, because she wanted a middle name like everyone else in the family.  

How is she doing now, after 8 months with her new family?  My thoughts flow from “great” to “hard” all at the same time.  I read a blog written by a young lady who lives and works with orphans in China.  She wrote about how the little motherless and fatherless children that she serves and cares for have learned very well “how” to be orphans.  They have learned how to steal, lie, get attention, hide their fears, avoid trouble or fight if needed.  They have learned to rely on themselves, and expect nothing.  Decisions are made for them, and so in an effort to gain “felt safety” they learn to control what they can.  Bad behavior covers up fears and weaknesses.  And even though, in many instances, wonderful people who work in the orphanages have daily sought to care for these little ones, some where in the back of the child’s mind, that boy or girl still knows that ultimately they are alone and belong to no one. 

I have seen many of these things in Noelani (and Clive in different ways).  She IS good at being a orphan.  Ofter all, it is all she has ever known.  Only now, she is suppose to be a part of a family.  I have given them time to adjust and learn, and they have - some.  And yet I also see the struggle she probably doesn’t even notice ... the one in her heart.  She NEEDS to be loved and belong but pulls away.  She NEEDS to laugh and play like a little child, but falls back into her old patterns of being a “little adult” like she was in the orphanage.  She NEEDS to trust, but puts up walls.  She NEEDS to belong, but isn’t sure what that looks like.  She NEEDS to talk, but she’s trying to learn a new language and she gets tired and goes off alone to avoid the work of it all. 

She really does struggle to say words.  She is learning English very well, but she has “sloppy” habits of speech (probably picked up very early in life as she learned to work with her cleft lip/cleft palette).  She is hard to understand and it takes work for both parties.  

As I watch my little Noelani struggle to learn the many things that she is trying to learn, I hurt for her.  I can’t even imagine ... yet, I know that this is her story and God’s adventure for her.  Her story is how she is becoming a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, and a niece; an American and ultimately God’s little lamb who is not longer lost and alone.  

This last week she used her learned behavior of deception, lying and aloneness to ring up a nasty little phone bill of texts.  Texts sent to anyone she could find in my phone.  It has been going on for quite some time.  I had been giving her “freedom” to play alone in the school room at certain times of the day, with me just in the next room.  She also got up early knowing that Steve was in the basement exercising, and she must have snuck in some late nights as well.  We have also caught her at other times sneaking on the computer or the iPad.  A few months ago she and Clive were in trouble.  She (the older one - that’s how they operate in an orphanage), had Clive, the younger one, steal candy from the pantry.  We found scraps of trash buried in the sand and thrown in the window well.  She laid all the blame on Clive, who was to afraid to tell us that he had an accomplice.  Because the little ones learn to be afraid of the older one in the orphanage.  Truth finally came out.

However, this latest one really got us to thinking that we needed to  “shrink” her world if we were really going to help her learn to be in a family.  

So instead of giving her privileges that she is not ready for, we are working more to keep her close, teach her to ask, to listen, to play WITH us and her brothers and sisters; to BE with us.  Not as punishment, but much like I would with a newborn.  I would never leave a newborn alone, or not watch my one year old.  I would also be within eye sight of my two year old ready to correct and train.  

I guess that I thought she would mostly “learn” to be in a family by being around us, which is what Clive seems to be doing to a larger degree.  But it seems that we are going to have to “force” her to work at it a little bit more.  I understand really.  It’s easier to go off by herself and not try, but it’s not good.  My heart breaks when she “goes” off by herself.  Dandy noticed it when we were on vacation at the lake.  And it broke his heart.  She would try to talk to him, but he just couldn’t understand her, so she would finally just go stand outside alone.  We would bring her in with us, but she had already chosen to withdraw.  It was easier that way. Poor baby.  I pray that the LORD shows us how to parent her right now.  She really is an amazing little person - sweet, helpful, joyful, happy, silly, tender and loving.  

These river pictures taken last month when we went camping tell a story ... are you seeing it?  Go back up four pictures.  See her sitting in the background by herself.  She kept saying that she would hold the dogs, and I would ask her to come play in the river with us.  She kept refusing.  I finally convinced her to at least put her feet in.  I wanted her to experience being a child, a free and protected child.  She did, reluctantly.  And then her brothers began to play with her and show her how to “sit” in the river.  

Do you see it?  Pure childhood joy and laughter.  

Learning to be with a family, to laugh, to play, to trust and to speak, knowing that we care about what she has to say.  And even if it is hard for us to understand her, and it is hard for her to say the words, she does have a voice, and she has a story to tell.

I read the below verse this morning, and I think how I didn’t know “how” to be in Gods family at first, but Christ welcomed me anyway.  And we now will continue to welcome this little daughter into our family, and pray ...

pray for her to find her way,

and thank the LORD that He showed us the way, and will now show her.  

FOR HIS GLORY.

“Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” Romans. 15:7

“God of endurance and encouragement, I pray that you would grant us as a family to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together we may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ”  Romans 15”5-6

Stop Trying

How many times I have seen my own short comings, failures and weaknesses and thought “I will do better.  I just need to try harder.”  I don’t even realize that I am thinking it really.  I think that it is our sinful nature to think that we “can”.  It’s easier to think this then to realize that we can’t.  
I hate I can’t’s.

I don’t like it when something gets in my way, like this fallen tree that was in the way of our 4 wheel road!  We had places to go, things to do and see!  (LOL at myself by the way)


The LORD is really speaking to me right now that I need not try to do better but I need to give up trying to do it myself.  Sounds good, not so easy.  I’ve been contemplating Jesus’ words in Matt. 11:28-30...today more so verse 29...”Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”


I believe that for me, the struggle in my soul highlights the problem in my heart - dependence.  “Dependence on Jesus is a prerequisite for obedience.” (from the One Year Devotion).  I really do “want” to be obedient, yet the dependence thing is a hard one for me.  I am trying to obey in my own strength and by my own understanding.  I guess if I am honest, I am afraid to trust and completely rely on the LORD.  Self sufficiency seems more “do-able” and controllable.  


This post is going to be a little different than some of my others, because I am honestly looking at my own heart and sin and sharing it here.  I don’t really “have the answer” right now.  But I do know that the LORD is whispering to me.  I think better when I process my devotions like this.  


What is the reason for our being overly burdened?  Am I resisting dependency on the LORD and feeling overwhelmed with my own independence?  Am I obsessing about the problems, and denying Scripture’s command to cast my anxiety upon the LORD?  (Phil 4:6, 1 Pet. 5:7).  Am I thinking that I am sufficient in myself to accomplish God’s purposes in my life?  


I “know” that only He is sufficient, yet, I am not trusting in it.  It seems safer to know it, and not put it to the test.  


Jesus says “My yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:30).  
“Lord, I confess that I am afraid to trust You.  I am afraid that if I “cast my anxieties on You”, You wont really care, and might not take care of them (the way I am hoping for anyway).  Please forgive me and help me to find rest in dependence and trust in you.  Help me to take up the yoke of Your Son, Jesus, and follow Him. Amen."

Come And Rest

Come Rest Awhile

by Lucy Maude Montgomery  1874-1942

Come rest awhile, and let us idly stray,

In glimmering valleys, cool and far away.

Come from the greedy mart, the troubled street,

And listen to the music, faint and sweet,

That echoes ever to a listening ear,

Unheard by those who will not pause to hear

The wayward chimes of memory's pensive bells,

Wind-blown o'er misty hills and curtained dells.

One step aside and dewy buds unclose

The sweetness of the violet and the rose;

Song and romance still linger in the green,

Emblossomed ways by you so seldom seen,

And near at hand, would you but see them, lie

All lovely things beloved in days gone by.

You have forgotten what it is to smile

In your too busy life-- come, rest awhile.

A Fruitless Vine?

I was reading Nancy Campbell’s 100 Days of Blessing devotion the other day, and she wrote some thing that was so encouraging to me...
“...nothing comes of a fruitless vine  It is useless.  Good for nothing.  It doesn’t provide food or blessing for anyone.  This is not what life is all about.  Life is sacrifice.  In fact, you can’t have life without death.  What did Jesus say in John 12:24?  ‘...unless a corn of wheat falls into the earth and die, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.’  When we live for ourselves, we lose our life.  When we lay down our life in daily sacrifice we find it.  This is an eternal law.”  
My days, and yours, are full of opportunity to “die” and let the LORD produce fruit.  I want my life to bear fruit that feeds others and is a blessing to them.  
And today, my home is FULL of some beautiful “fruit” that will require sacrifice and work...

...like this one,

 ...and this one,

 ...and this one,

 ...and this one,

 ...and this one,

 ...and this one,

 ...and this one,

 ...and this one,

 ...and this one,

...and this one, 

 ...and these two,

...and I’m sure that these two would love some extra attention and nurturing.

Let’s pray for the LORD to make us fruitful vines, where ever we are at, and in what ever way He wants to use us.  Dying really is where the Life is at.  
For His Glory, we live!!
loves,

Waiting.....And Thoughts On Death

Please pray for us all as we wait for the time when my precious Uncle Charles will go Home to the LORD.
I found comfort this morning reading I Corinthians 15 about the resurrection of Christ and the resurrection of the dead.  Especially these verses;
“But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep.  For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead.  For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.”  (verses 20-22)  I love this truth...that those that I love that have passed away have only “fallen asleep” till it is time for Jesus to come back. 
Do you know what the last enemy to be destroyed will be?
Verse 26 says that it is death!  I had never thought of that.  
However, death first has a purpose, because the Bible tells us that all things work together for our good...”And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28).
So death is also for our good?  Yes, it is!
Back in I Corinthians 15 again, I find these words, “So is it with the resurrection of the dead.  What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable.  It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory.  It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power.  It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.  If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.  .... Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust (Adam), we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven (Jesus).” (verses 42-44, 49).  Death brings forth this new spiritual body, like a seeds that is planted dies to bring forth even more life.  
Today, we wait for our beloved one to “fall asleep” and I find comfort in knowing that death will be destroyed one day, and my precious Uncle Charles will again live.
Jesus has said it, and I believe it....
“I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.  Do you believe this?” (John 11:25)

LIVE!!!

“Live all the days of your life!”  Johathan Swift.
I saw this quote somewhere and thought how funny, because I was just actually thinking something like that this morning.  I want to LIVE each day, not sludge through them.  I want to be passionate each day, not weighed down.  I want to shine each day, not moodily get by.  
Ahhh, except for one little thing that frustrates me so...my sin nature!  God’s child in me wants to LIVE and SHINE for His glory.  Yet, the sin in me wants to live and shine cuz it’s funner than being all down, tired and moody.  I think I need to look for the beauty and color I can find today.
Was that random or what?
Womanhood...can’t live with it, can’t get away from it.  
My prayer today is from great inspiration John Piper;
“Hallowed be Thy Name” - Father God, I pray that in all the world Your Name would be regarded as precious.
“Thy will be done on earth as in Heaven.”  My precious LORD, I pray that the hearts of my family would be changed to do Your will with the same zeal and purity that the angels have in Heaven.”

The sun is shinin’ in....time to make my bed an begin this day!
Loves to you all!

Prescription For Joy

(Picture by Karlie, edited by me)

I have been thinking on a verse for a few days now, wondering at it and asking the LORD to teach me from it....

“For thus said the LORD God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15)

Our Lord knows us, and He desires what is best for us!  

Do you need strength to do what is required of you?

Are you feeling heavy-hearted, weighed down?  

One of the LORD’s most precious words of love to us is sprinkled through out the Bible...return to Him. I am learning to say to my soul “Return to your Lover”.  There are many things in a day that may distract me or cause me to “look” another way...may be a stress, or a problem, a worry, or struggle...so moment by moment I want to remind myself where I should be.  Another thing is that when I am focusing on those stresses, problems, worries or struggles, I am most likely not feeling the “rest” that I am longing for.  That is because I am trying to fix things and not submitting my heart and soul to Him who loves me...which is why I must first tell myself to “return” to the LORD because it is in Him and Him alone that I will find rest.  

Here’s an example...

I am feeling troubled as a mother by some training issues with a few little ones.  I feel tired and weary as I seek the best way to handle some things.  However, if I tell myself to “return” to the LORD, I am not ignoring the problem, but I returning to Him with it, talking to Him about it, handling it FROM my relationship with Him, instead of handling it by myself.  Obviously, this is a more restful place, because I am submitting willingly and lovingly to Him and I will find rest and be saved....

be saved from what?  My own sins for one.  Doing it My way;  seeking what I want to happen in a particular situation; my expectations of what SHOULD happen.  I can tell you from lots of experience (confession here), that when I am trying to get things the way I want them (even good things), I am not feeling so restful...it’s HARD to try to be god and solve the problems of my world!!!  When I return to the LORD though, and make myself rest in Him, I can be sure that I will be saved!!!

HOWEVER,  there is an important MORE in this verse;

Remember, I asked you (and me) if you need strength to do what is required?

Then we must also seek it IN quietness and IN trust.  

Have you ever wanted a “white knight” to come in and save you and just solve all your problems?  We all have!!!!  I have always loved, LOVED these words that my dad has said to me many times in my life - “It’ll be all right”.  What ever I was going through, I felt better because my dad had assured me that things would be O.K.  I have come through a few hard things, as I know you have, and I can tell you, I hung onto those words spoken by my daddy like they were a life line.  In fact, they mean so much to me that when we first were married, I was frustrated at Steve because he didn’t say those words to me when I needed to hear them...and I felt scared!!!  He has learned, and I have even told him that I needed to hear him say that things would be O.K.  See, I BELIEVED my dad when he said things would be ok...I trusted him, and I found strength to keep going.  

We must be like that child in me that believed and stills believes that my dad can and will make things OK;

only we must believe it of our Heavenly Father.  We must rely upon God with a holy confidence that He can do what He will and will do what is best.  And this is our strength!

I called this post “Prescription For Joy” because I believe the LORD wants to fill us with His joy, and I believe we will begin to find that joy as we remind ourselves to “return” to the LORD, may be SEVERAL times a day (I have and do so almost hourly sometimes!!!).

Did you notice the two titles that I used for the LORD in this post?

Lover and Father.  

That is the cry of my heart....to be loved by my Heavenly Lover and to be cared for by my Heavenly Father.  

Let’s start returning....

My New Word - Hormotional

So, you think that hormotioal isn’t a real word?  Well, you are right and wrong, because I made it up, and I am making it a word!
Let’s start with a definition of emotional, shall we?  "Expressing emotion, easily effected by emotions, any agitation of the mind.”
See?  That just does’t work.  If you were to tell a man “I am having an agitation of my mind”, well, I can already see the expression on his face; confusion and fear at least.  So I have coined a word that I think most of us women-young or old-can identify with -  HORMOTIONAL.
What is the definition of hormotional? - "An unpredictable and irrational yet reliable and completely true state of a woman’s mind and heart when her hormones inflict a nauseating openness into her soul that are usually perceived by others as crazy, illogical and (my personal favorite), state of not thinking clearly. “
An example - husband is trying to help his beloved wife who has a fever and an ear infection.  However, the wife is feeling very hormotional and tells him to take care of what he needs to take care of for his trip-his up coming, male loaded, gun toting, week long hunting trip.  Feeling “hormotional” she knows that he loves her and is taking care of her, but RIGHT THIS MINUTE she just isn’t feelin’ the love.  She is feeling “He loves me, he doesn’t love me; I am glad he can go on this trip, how can he leave me when I need him so; I am not pretty to him, even a moose is more attractive than me; leave me alone because I am so ugly; don’t leave me alone or I know that you don’t love me.”
Is there any other woman who has experienced this hormotionalism?  Come on girls, we need to stand together.  Please don’t leave me standing alone, or I might become overly agitated in my mind!!!

I Thought I Was Stronger

The sun is setting on our little piece of Colorado, leaving behind a week of memories, accomplishments, stresses, sick ones...
The weather has really turned cooler here and Autumn is knocking on our door, for sure!
Thank goodness, daddy just walked in and took some fussing children outside to help him unload the car.
This summer has been very difficult for me.  I was telling my mom, it is funny when things are going good and I am feeling good, I “feel” strong;
and then circumstances designed by His Loving Hand come along and I see how very weak I am; and how quickly my “little” world becomes all about me.  I really do hate that. 
I was thinking to myself a few days ago “Gee, I thought I was stronger than this.”  And again, I am reminded of how weak I am.

How much I need Him each day!  How aware I am again of my need for His vision and direction; His protection and provision; HIS STRENGTH.   And like a little lamb, I am sticking really close to my Shepherd and trusting Him!

My constant reminder the last few weeks has been what I call “A Call To Bold Endurance In Ministry”...

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” II Tim 1:7

Lookin’ forward to resting this weekend and prayin’ that you are refreshed as well.

Domestic Adoption

I said that I would answer the question “Why are you adopting internationally, instead adopting the children that need a home in your own country?”


So, I am going to go back a few years to get to today.  Steve and I always knew that we wanted a large family and that adoption would probably be apart of our story...though, we never knew how large apart!!!  When we heard about the little girls of China that were in orphanages waiting for a family, we knew that this was where the LORD was leading us. So, two years after the life-threatening pregnancy of our 3rd child, we added our small daughter from China.  We found out that boys were waiting in S. Korea and we knew that this was were the LORD was leading us. After Landon came home, we felt (again) that the LORD was leading us to waiting boys in Vietnam. At this point MANY trials and pains hit our family.  
As we walked through those difficult years, we also waited. We had put in paper work asking to adopt a child from an amazing organization in Tulsa, O.K.-Crisis Pregnancy Outreach.  Two years later we received a phone call that a birthmother had chosen our family to adopt her baby and she would be giving birth in the next few weeks. Much healing and growing had happened in our family and we were ready!  A few weeks later, before Christmas, Kalyn and I were flying to Tulsa, to meet our newest family member-a newborn baby boy.  It was amazing to go to the hospital and meet the birth mother, and then we waited (for what seemed like forever) for the nurses to bring “the baby”. I was so dying to meet him and so wanting the respect this young birthmother.  Finally, he was there!!! I was allowed to stay in a hospital room and able to begin mothering him immediately.  And I was able to continue to visit the birth mother and share the miracle of this new child. 
Corbin Samuel will turn 6 this Christmas.  And I can still say that experience was one of the most amazing times of my life. 
A few years later Steve and I felt that the LORD was taking us to Liberia, Africa, where over two years, 3 small children would be added to our family....children who were sick, close to death, starving, stuck in one of the longest African wars, living in refugee camps.  I always wanted to adopt again from the Crisis Pregnancy Outreach (and they NEED families!!!), and after bringing our children home from Africa we looked again into domestic adoptions and we found out that Colorado has a rule called “8 is Enough.”....meaning the state would not allow us to adopt domestically because of our family size and we could not even do foster care within our state now.  At one point, we had been able to do temporary foster care, however, our family size made that impossible now.  
After this, we found out that a door was opening for us to adopt from Ethiopia.  And now, precious Keshawn Lee is home.  Why, because he was on a waiting list, just needing his family to come. 
So, Steve and I continue to pray, as we do not feel that the LORD is through with adding to our family.  And though we never planned to adopt from so many different countries, I am continually amazed and thankful that the LORD had/has such an awesome journey for our family.  And I really am in awe of the fact that when I sit at my table, so many different nations are sitting there with me, but we aren’t strangers, we are family!!! Surely, this is only a small glimpse of Heaven with the Father of all Nations!!!!  I will always be grateful to a brave birthmother and the USA for my Corbin Samuel!!!

And I feel compelled to advocate for the boys at this point. We have been blessed with 5 daughters and I will always be thankful for that!!!!
However, most of our sons are home because they were waiting for one reason only - they were boys. So whether it is domestic or international, I ask you to consider the waiting boys in ANY country. Wow, are they precious!!!!

Weird Metal Spike Balls and Court

Aren't these metal sculptures fun?!  The children loved playing with them. These works of art where next door to the court house where we spend time this morning finalizing Keshawn's adoption. He is now a HASSOLDT!!!

The judge was a very sweet lady.  She really involved the children in the process and they thought that was cool. They each even got to hammer her very special gavel. 

After our "day in court", the children and I toured the Pioneer Museum that was next door.  We don't get downtown very often and the children convinced me with "we can count it as school Mom".  What smart children!

This last picture is Keshawn holding Caresse's hand as we were leaving the court.  When I look at it, I think, "This is why it is worth it all."  Someone to walk the roads of life with...a family.  Always there for each other, leading, following, helping, loving.  I know that our family seems big to many, but to us, it seems just right.  We are growing and learning together how to live for the LORD's glory.  Isn't it a lot of work?  Yes and No would be my answer.  On one hand, we do work hard, however, the "work" is good work as we learn to love and serve each other.  On the other hand, no it isn't harder because work is so much easier and so much more enjoyable when you have others with you.  

And the older children learn the joys of guiding little feet that are following them.  Those little feet need not walk alone now.  Those little hands are never empty now.  Those little heart's never have to face the future alone again.  Fears, dreams, hopes, and thoughts are shared and respected in their daily lives. 

Yes, there is the reality of screaming and arguing.  Even now, two of them are sitting in a quiet time beside me.  And what are they learning...that we respect each other and Mommy.  So, I look at the above picture in all of it's romantic-ness...

and I know that it is worth it. 

They have each other.  They have a family.  And that is one precious gift!!! 

Boy, I'm Having a Time....(And So Are My Parents)

Well, first.
I have some little ones who are giving me a pretty hard time this week.  Really bad, disobedient and angry attitudes, lots of tattle-tailing. I have been praying and seeking the Lord.  Late one night, while I was awake, I was thinking of one in particular and asking the LORD what to do.  I remembered a verse in Jeremiah 10:21 "For the shepherds are stupid and do not inquire of the LORD....". This really fits in this week with the book study that we are doing over at Jills, Praying The Names Of God.
We are studying the name of the LORD, Yahweh Roi, The LORD Is My Shepherd.  I want to be wise and "inquire of the LORD" in all areas, but especially as Steve and I shepherd our family.  My prayer this week is to faithfully shepherd my children, and I know that I cannot do this without the counsel of the LORD.

By the way this child is not one of my "hard" ones this week, I just thought it was really cute. Anyway, one of my favorite chapters in the Bible is in Ezekiel 34, especially verses 15-16 "I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the LORD GOD. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice." So that night when I prayed for my little one, what did I hear...that my little sheep will stray, and I must bring them back to what is right with patience and kindness. One of the sins of the faithless shepherds in Ezekiel 34:4 is force and harshness "The weak you have not strengthened , the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them."


And now second, 
Mom met with her Dr. this morning about her leg.  She needs to meet with another Dr. next week. Without going into all the details, please pray. Right now, they are not sure which surgery will be best and not sure that either of them will completely give her back full use of her leg.  Let's pray that our Shepherd would strengthen what is weak, and bind up what is injured and that complete recovery of her leg would happen for HIS GLORY. 

 She's got a lot of little ones to keep up with after all.  And as she would say, "The LORD be glorified in ALL things!" 

The Pursuit of Happiness?

"I've read so many verses that reveal God's desire for me to value what He values and to help those around me. How, then, should I live? How can I love what God treasures instead of pursuing what the world treasures?"
The above was taken from a wonderful devotional called Hope Lives. The question is a real thought stopper. The last year, or more, the LORD has really been showing me how very rich I am and the many ways that we have fallen subconsciously into reaching the next level of American achievement. 


"1 Timothy 6:6 "True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." 
We've been some-what trained into pursuing our own happiness and thinking that nothing is wrong with that. Is it wrong to pursue our own happiness? The funny thing is, I think this is the wrong question to ask. But before I can treasure what God treasures, I better deal with something ... do I trust the LORD with my happiness enough to let it go? 

A funny little thing happened when Steve and I felt "that feeling" that the LORD wanted us to bring home another child. We kept putting to death what "we wanted"...financial security, acceptance from others, time for "me" ("you know, you can't be happy and healthy if you don't have time for YOU" we've been told); new carpet and tile, vacations (thanks Mom and Dad, without you, we really wouldn't go anywhere); additions to the house; and on and on the list could go. The funny thing that happened? We became happier as we followed God's leading to minister to the least, the most vulnerable, the smallest person who is greatest at risk. I have become more grateful for what we do have and desire less what the "world" might say I need. 

1 Tim. 6:17-18 "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and be generosity and willing to share"

I have seen my parents live this out their whole lives! When I was very young, we were VERY poor...no exaggeration! It never mattered. If someone needed something, my parents always helped or shared in any way they could. 
In the devotional Hope Lives, the author writes "Relationship is central to Christianity - The most important commandment is to love God, and the second is to love your neighbor. I think this applies to wealth. I'm to accept it as a loving gift from my Father, and I'm to enjoy it in relationship with other people. It's all about relationships; it's nothing to do with money." 
I have seen this lived out in my parents, whether there was little or lots, people were always more important than the money, and the money was just there (small of big) to be used in serving the LORD and loving others. 
Back to "How can I love what God treasures instead of pursuing what the world treasures? and can the Pursuit of Happiness be apart of this question? (Not THE question). 
Listen to what Paul has to say about pursuing what the world treasures..."...for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils." (1 Tim. 6:7-10). 

When I love others by giving to them from what the LORD has entrusted to me, and serving them from my heart, especially the poor, sick, widowed, orphaned and hurting, what the world treasures will no longer entice me (well, may be clothes...but I'm trying to get better at that!). And by pursuing the happiness of others I will find my own happiness.

My Purpose/My Mission

I love how the Bible so clearly answers deep heart questions, and no doubt, many of us have wondered about our purpose; our mission. Many books have been written on this. It can seem overwhelming and confusing to some, especially if we let the world influences answer.
As I was reading John 15 (Jesus is talking about being the true vine and our need to dwell in Him),  without much thinking, I underlined vs 8 "By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit." ; and I wrote above it "My purpose - that my Father is glorified. 
A little further in my reading I underlined vs. 16-17 "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide....so that you will love one another."  Above this I wrote "My mission - bear fruit so that I may love others." 
I then asked a question that kind of scared me...
"How do I glorify God?" The scary part for me was the underlying thought - "If my purpose is to glorify God, how do I do that? What if I can't; what if I fail?'"
I really was afraid to ask this question!!! 
However, I did and when I did, I couldn't believe how quickly He answered me...

 

"These beautiful nighttime clouds do not work to bring glory to ME, they just do what I created them to do....and I am glorified in them."

  

The stunning colors of an ocean sunset doesn't work to bring glory to ME, it just does what I created it to do...and I am glorified."

 

These children do not work to glorify me, they are made in MY image, enjoying MY creation and I am glorified." 

 May be this is simple, but to me it was such a beautiful word from the Lord...I will glorify Him by being who He created me to be...and it really is that simple. With my gifts, talents, weaknesses, opportunities, and passions I can walk out this purpose-that He be glorified! 

Now, the second part, my mission, becomes pretty easy...to bear fruit that I may love others. I can't bear fruit on my own, which is why the LORD speaks of abiding in HIM. I am made in His image, to bring glory to Him and have been enabled by Him to walk out my mission...to bear fruit. 

What a perfect time to be studying Elohim...the Glorious Creator of all!