How many times I have seen my own short comings, failures and weaknesses and thought “I will do better. I just need to try harder.” I don’t even realize that I am thinking it really. I think that it is our sinful nature to think that we “can”. It’s easier to think this then to realize that we can’t.
I hate I can’t’s.
I don’t like it when something gets in my way, like this fallen tree that was in the way of our 4 wheel road! We had places to go, things to do and see! (LOL at myself by the way)
The LORD is really speaking to me right now that I need not try to do better but I need to give up trying to do it myself. Sounds good, not so easy. I’ve been contemplating Jesus’ words in Matt. 11:28-30...today more so verse 29...”Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
I believe that for me, the struggle in my soul highlights the problem in my heart - dependence. “Dependence on Jesus is a prerequisite for obedience.” (from the One Year Devotion). I really do “want” to be obedient, yet the dependence thing is a hard one for me. I am trying to obey in my own strength and by my own understanding. I guess if I am honest, I am afraid to trust and completely rely on the LORD. Self sufficiency seems more “do-able” and controllable.
This post is going to be a little different than some of my others, because I am honestly looking at my own heart and sin and sharing it here. I don’t really “have the answer” right now. But I do know that the LORD is whispering to me. I think better when I process my devotions like this.
What is the reason for our being overly burdened? Am I resisting dependency on the LORD and feeling overwhelmed with my own independence? Am I obsessing about the problems, and denying Scripture’s command to cast my anxiety upon the LORD? (Phil 4:6, 1 Pet. 5:7). Am I thinking that I am sufficient in myself to accomplish God’s purposes in my life?
I “know” that only He is sufficient, yet, I am not trusting in it. It seems safer to know it, and not put it to the test.
Jesus says “My yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:30).
“Lord, I confess that I am afraid to trust You. I am afraid that if I “cast my anxieties on You”, You wont really care, and might not take care of them (the way I am hoping for anyway). Please forgive me and help me to find rest in dependence and trust in you. Help me to take up the yoke of Your Son, Jesus, and follow Him. Amen."