I was just sitting down when above darlin' interrupted again..."Mom, some eggs broke". (Meaning he had been out to the chicken coop). I asked him how and how many. "Well, I tripped (pause while he counts on his fingers - oh dear), and only four brokeded".
I really do have something important on my mind...may be I am hesitant because I always struggle with writing well what is on my mind and in my heart. So, here goes.
I see women struggling with different areas of their lives, like ... should we adopt another child, should I give up my job to stay home, should I home school (are just a few)...and the reasons are as different and varied as each lady asking. I have received many questions ranging from respectful questions about how I do it all, to the more thoughtless ones like "what number is that one!" (to which I act stupid and say "Oh, this is our newest precious gift from the LORD, his name is Keshawn, and he is 1 year old, he has been home for 4 months now and he is doing wonderful. He even started walking this week.".
For heaven's sakes, he is not a number, but a human being!!!! Sorry, side tracked)
I love talking to and encouraging others mothers as they seek to find and walk out God's call for their lives.
Now, having said that, here is the heart of the matter. I was talking to the children about obedience verses willfulness, and the Bible story that we read today was in I Kings 17:8-16, about the widow who was using the last of her flour and oil to make one cake for herself and her son before they die. At this time there is a drought and no food. Many are dying from hunger. This is when the prophet Elijah shows up in the story. (Please go read the whole story to refresh your memory).
"And Elijah said to her, "Do not fear; go and do as you have said. But first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make something for yourself and your son, for thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty, until the day that the LORD sends rain upon the earth.' And she went and did as Elijah said."
I began talking with the children about this story...how the widow chose to be obedient to the prophet, even though at the time, she could only see the handful of flour and a little oil. Common sense would have said "There isn't enough, there is no way this is going to work." Common sense could have said the prophet was crazy. Out of willfulness and fear, she could have just ignored him, and gone about with her original plan. But then she would have received nothing, especially not the miracle of provision.
All three of our pregnancies were life threatening. We received more than a few worried and negative comments when we decided to become pregnant with number 3, but we knew the LORD had told US to, so we did, and it was worse than the other two. However, looking back, I can tell you for sure that God was "pruning" some death from my life. We knew that we were suppose to home school, and at first, again, we received the worried and questioning comments and dealt with the critical ones. But again, home schooling has brought me more blessings and taught me so much, and yes, more pruning has been done...more death cut off. Well, you can imagine what 8 adoptions has brought our way...though now, we are just crazy and irresponsible to some, and to those who love us...well, we might still be a little crazy. And, wow, did some dead things scream going down with this one.
Here's the thing, Steve and I had prayed and felt that we knew what we were suppose to do. But...if you look at it through common sense we shouldn't have done any of it. We really only ever had a "handful of flour and a little oil". So, how were we going to make it work? First, I would have died if we had of had 11 children all at once. They came one at a time, and I grew with each of them. And as we trusted the LORD, they came at just the right time in our lives...the LORD knew!!! And home schooling - well, that's a funny one..I am dyslexic and did horrible in school (I mean, I was a complete "dummy" by all school standards). When we felt that the LORD wanted us to home school, so many of my negative emotions surfaced and I wondered how in the world I was going to teach ANY ONE, when I had been such a failure in school. I figured I could at least get us through 1st and 2nd grade, so we started on a journey that the LORD has used to heal so many of my wounded places. And then He gave me a dyslexic daughter. Oh, the joy of having someone who "get's me". Now my first born is 20, doing excellent in his college and I love home educating our children. It's not easy!!! But, I would never give it up.
What I want to encourage others with is, you may look down and see only a "handful of flour and a little oil" and you just don't know if you can do what YOU FEEL the LORD has asked you to do. He's not asking you to do what I have done, or what someone else has done...He has an amazing adventure for YOU and He will show the way to you if you seek HIM and not the opinions of the world around you. Next, as Elijah told the widow, do not fear, go and do it. If you do, you will see His provisions, if you don't, you will really be missing out on things that the LORD has for you. And also, DON'T BE AFRAID of the pruning. It can hurt some, but you really don't want those dead things clinging to you, and the LORD knows just what to do, trust him. The Bible says "...and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit." John 15:2
One more word of encouragement..."for we walk by faith, not by sight" 2 Cor. 5:7. If we try to walk by what we can see, we will probably experience some form of "blindness". So walk in the light and walk in faith.
By the way, there were over 20 eggs broken in my garage...NOT 4! Kalyn cleaned that up for me, and Joeliana's new tea set was shattered, I cleaned that one up. I hope what I wrote is of encouragement to someone...this post was interrupted a lot and I'm not sure if my scattered thoughts every came together. Back up stairs...someone is calling. Loves to you all.