Tuesday, May 11, 2010

It's Hailing and I'm Crying

Yes, it is almost 10:00 p.m and it is hailing outside. And I'm sitting inside crying.
Somewhere in blog world, you walk a thin line between wanting to encourage and love others and being real, honest and Yes, the dreaded, vulnerable.
Steve is out for his weekly men's meeting, all the children need me to come bless and pray for them...
and the truth is,
it isn't always easy. Steve and I have come through some hard times. And sometimes, like now, I don't FEEL loved, or pretty, or able. And somewhere in this silly blog world, I choose to open up a window into my life, my heart and cry. Nothing serious, just times when a heart is tired and hurt and old wounds open up and bleed.  And I don't feel loved... a pity part, may be, or may be...
sometimes a woman's heart hurts, and breaks and loves...
and sometimes, when it hails outside...
I cry.


  1. Sweet friend - my heart hurts knowing you are alone crying...although we both know our Daddy is right there to catch every tear that falls and will wash away the pain.

    Zephaniah 3:17 - my favorite verse for the last month and it is for you tonight Shonni!

    Hugs and much love! I'm here if you need me!

  2. Shonni, I'm glad you can be honest in our bloggy world. Sometimes a girl's gotta just cry ...

    I hear you and at times feel the same way for probably different reasons. But you're human after all. I hope the hail stops and everyone gets off to bed. Just know that you are loved by the one, true living God. And He is always with you, no matter how you feel.

    Sending hugs,

  3. Bless your heart! Please know you are not alone.

  4. praying for you shonni:))

  5. Oh Shonni,

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Praying for you on this cold, rainy evening...praying that God gives you an overwhelming sense of His great love for you. You are greatly loved!


  6. I can SO relate right now! I think its adoptive moms emotional aftermath from Mothers Day! ug.
    Hope you can get some rest and maybe a bit of quiet time, those two things seem to help...
    And in the kids grief group we learn that its very good to cry ;-)

  7. Shonni,
    I'm sorry you are going through this, we all have times when we feel unloved, tired, and are just plain hurting. Know that you are loved by many, especially our heavenly Father and I will pray for strength and peace for you.

  8. oh I can't stand the thought of you not feeling loved... I pray right now for your spirit to be strengthened and for His love to encompass you...

    Psalm 56:8 (New Living Translation)

    8 You keep track of all my sorrows.[a]
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.

    Matthew 5:4 (New King James Version)

    4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    For they shall be comforted.
    Psalm 36:5
    Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
    Proverbs 31
    10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.

    11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.

    12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

    13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.

    14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.

    15 She gets up while it is still dark;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her servant girls.

    16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

    17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.

    18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.

    19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

    20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.

    21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

    22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

    23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

    24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.

    25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.

    26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

    27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

    28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:

    29 "Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all."

    30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

    31 Give her the reward she has earned,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate

  9. Oh Shonni ...

    Thanks for sharing! Wishing I were there so we could give each other a big hug.

    I have shed a lot of tears recently, over our marriage. I LOVE my husband dearly, and I "know" he loves me ... but sometimes I just am not feeling that love from him.

    We've had a HARD year. I know in my heart that the Lord will pull us through. But ... I cry. Just this afternoon ... I crawled into bed, pulled the covers over my head, and cried for my marriage.

    Right there with you.

    You are beautiful! You're an amazing mama! And, you are loved by so many.

    Be strong. Hang in there. The Lord hears your cry.

    I will pray for you ... and for Steve ...

    Laurel :)

  10. Oh, I can so relate. I am glad you are "real" because other blogs that only encourage with positive stories are really hard relate to. Thanks for being real and I will be praying for you friend!

  11. ¡Mucho Ánimo!
    Tienes Una familia Maravillosa
    DESDE Un abrazo Murcia (España!

  12. Oh, sweet, sweet friend. How I wish I could come over with a hug and a ward plate of brownies. I understand how you feel and it's hard.

    Love from Uganda,

  13. Thank you for sharing your heart and tears. Praying for God to heal the piece of your heart that hurts....all of them.

  14. It's okay to cry sometimes, but in the end, even when no one is around us and we feel unloved, Jesus is there, and boy does he love you.

  15. Thank you for being vulnerable...because when i look at what i see of your life...there is beauty because you cry :)

    Pour it out...

    Praying that God allows you to FEEL all the love you need to be whole again in the morning.

  16. Thanks for being "vulnerable" ... I think we all need to be more so.. this is when we realize how NOT alone we are in our thougths and feelings...
    You have probably already heard this before but thought I would pass this on .... Blessings to you!!!


  17. Sometimes a good cry is what we need. Life and love is often like roller coster and when we are at the bottom, you can be sure that soon you'll be on the top of it with lots of excitment, joy and happiness.

    Wish you that happens fast enough ;o)


  18. Aw, friend.

    Praying your spirit is renewed and refreshed.

    Hugs from me to you!

  19. And this is when you give others in the 'body' a chance to come alongside and encourage and bless you and thereby be blessed themselves!!

    I sure have been there much and it is good to know there are others walking the same path.

    Praying for comfort, and peace in your heart. Praying for strength for each step of the path you are on.

    Delighting in Him

  20. I can fully understand that... Sometimes we as women just need to cry... need to release all that is built up in us. Cleanse so we can start over being everything to everybody. I think we need to set aside a time for us just to cry.
    Angie H.

  21. Oh how I can relate, my friend. As many think we are, we are not Supermoms. I've been so encouraged by all the wonderful comments..the Bible verses and the thoughts. :) God has called you to these little ones...and he will give you strength to live abundantly. Oh how the enemy knows us...and can discourage us...beat us down...but our God is bigger than the "boogie man" (Veggie Tales song) and we are children of the King. Just tell that 'boogie man' where to go...in Jesus name. :)

  22. ahhh- I'm so sorry your feeling sad. Yes I certainly have had those days. Hubby has been traveling a lot and the days evenings without him get challenging and lonely.

    Praying the hail will stop and smiles will come to your face- thank you for being so honest,

  23. Oh, Dear Sweet Sister in Christ Jesus you are loved...... you are loved by your Lord, you are loved by your husband, you are loved by your children, you are loved by your friends, you are loved by your sisters...... and you are oh, so beautiful...... when I look at you, I see Jesus... truly beautiful.....
    I pray He has wrapped you in His loving arms and ministered to your hurting heart.....
    God's peace and comfort,


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