Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I’m A Little Obsessed ...

...with fibers!!  I am learning how to spin using some wonderful Alpaca wool from a local farmer.  It is so soft!!  Thank goodness for the internet and the ability to learn from others!

The children are also obsessed with fiber.  We are learning to wet and dry felt fibers.  What fun!  I bought my supplies from Living Felt and I really like this company.  They have lots of helpful information.  

Aiden was really creative with his chicken.  The chicken was “born-ing” and egg, and it had food to eat.  He loves to play with it.  

Several of the children are making their second and third dry felts. The are really going to get excited when I show them how to wet felt a snake tomorrow!  

Sunday, October 28, 2012

She’s So Darn Cute!

When she is helping to put up left overs in the kitchen and can not find a lid for a container, she will say “I can’t find the hat.  Please help me.”

Since she came home, she has felt more comfortable and “safe” sleeping on the floor in our room in a sleeping bag.  That way her new mommy and daddy are always there for her.  She has learned that her mommy likes to sleep in a “cold” room.  I love to open several of our windows at night and the Colorado nights get pretty chilly.  Now, she keeps a small blanket  (that I gave her in China as a gift, and at first she totally rejected), and a fleece jacket in her sleeping bag.  Each night she “suits up” for bed time, putting on her jacket and wrapping in her pink blanket before cuddling down in her sleeping bag. 

She still puts her back to us when we try to hug her, yet she will sneak up behind us and hug our backs to get the love that her heart really desires.

She will run and hide behind our arms when something scares her.

When I took her to the orthodontist to put on the first of many braces to correct the problems of cleft lip/cleflt palette, I had to leave for just a second.  I told her, while the dr. was working on her teeth, that I was just going to the next room and would be back in just a second.  She seemed O.K. with that, till I let go of her hand and began to walk out of the room, and then she lost it.  She almost upset the dr, nurse and all of their equipment trying to turn to call for me.  It broke my heart as I ran back to her, yet, I also rejoiced...she is beginning to trust me. 

We have our hard times...
times of not being able to communicate and understand each other.  Times when I am selfishly afraid of another rejection.  Times when she comes undone, and I don’t know what to do to help the situation.   Times when I feel her rejection and fear, and I am trying to be the “adult” and help us both, but I don’t know what to do....

And then I remember what a brave little girl walked out of one room in China, crying and afraid, into an new room and a new world.  That little girl met a stranger called “mother” and she was forced by a situation to trust me.  She was so scared and her fear almost did us both in.  But the LORD had a plan.  We have walked a path we didn’t even know...
a journey to a relationship between a women in America and a little girl in China. 
We are still on the journey.  Oh, how I wish that she would let me hold her and love on her some times.  Yet, I must respect that she cannot give that right now.  So, I love her in ways that she can except; a little playful tickle here, and small hug there, and verbal affirmations, ever if she rejects them.  She will continue to hear from me that I think she is beautiful, adorable, cute and that I am so glad that the LORD gave her to me.  She WILL one day believe these truths.   She hates for us to take pictures of her and so I don’t have many of her,  Even then, I try to tell her that we think she is beautiful and I pray that one day she will know that in her heart.   
And until then, it helps me to remember...
she is so, truly, darn cute, and I am so glad that the LORD chose me to be her mother.
How I pray that one day, she knows this as well.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Monday, October 22, 2012

Want Peace And Rest?

No, running away will not give you that...LOL.  (Did I read your mind?)

During the quiet of 2 a.m., I slipped downstairs to get a glass of milk and my Bible.  I sadly admit that I often look to other “things” instead my Bible when my mind is in a frustrated place.  Usually a diversion of some sort to drown out the frustration.  Of course, that doesn’t work - ever.  (Oh that I would learn this lesson).
My mind was just not resting!!!  And I knew that the LORD was asking me to spend time with Him.  I took my Bible back upstairs, layed in bed with it and my little light to read with.  
I was reading Psalms 92:1-2 when some words “caught” my attention.  I have learned when this happens to stop reading, and consider what caught my attention.  Verse two says “ (It is good ,) To declare Your steadfast love in the morning, and Your faithfulness by night.” 
I prayed thanking the LORD for His faithfulness to our family each and every day  As I was praying, I felt Him showing me how to fight the worries that weighed on me at night - simply declare, (to make clear, to make plain) to those thoughts and worries His faithfulness.  I felt their power evaporating.   And what about the day time?  The LORD has that covered too.  This verse says to declare His steadfast love in the morning.  I believe that we “fight” what would steal our joy, peace and faith when we declare to them the Truth that is in the scripture.  And this scripture makes it very clear that this is a daily practice.
When I wake up and declare out loud this prayer, “It is good to give thanks to You LORD and I declare Your steadfast love this morning.”  See, that’s powerful.  That’s what His truth does.  It frees us from the lies.  Yes, there are problems and worries, but I don’t want to give them power by declaring them as truth.   
See what I am talking about?  What am I declaring?  How tired I am, the financial stresses, the problems? Or am I going to declare HIS steadfast love by day and His faithfulness by night?
Oh, how I pray for us all to be faithful in our devotion to Him and to see and DECLARE His Truth in our lives.  I suspect that we will all find a little more peace and rest!!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I Felt.... productive today!!!
I got three children bathed!!!!!!

(Did I hear gasp of surprise?)

I was really proud of myself...
And it was done at 4:00 p.m. while children were helping to cook the meat for supper, just after I had come home from several hours on the road running errands and taking Noelanie to speech therapy.  Before that we had a productive school day, watched a documentary, ate lunch - them, not me.  I was running to town for gas and I shamelessly used a few dollars of this pay check for a small Sonic Strawberry Limeade and a few chicken nuggets to eat while I was driving.  Through out the day I broke up several children who were fighting and tried to help other darlings with their various problems.  Before that I woke up at 2a.m., went down stairs for some milk, wrote a blog post, and took pain medicine for the root canals and the stubborn cold I’ve had. I stayed up for a while and then finally went back to bed to find my little son, Keshawn, had been searching for me in his sleep and was now lying upside down in our bed.  I fixed his position (head up) and finally fell asleep, Steve woke me up before he left for work and I told myself all the reasons that I needed to get out of bed and start the day well with my children. 
And now, it is time for bed again...
and I feel so proud that I got three children bathed. LOL


"I decided that my children were God’s best will for my life, I saw all of my life through this grid. So when I went through my day, in general, if an interruption came into my life, since my “grid” said, “My children are my decided and valued priority,” then I could say yes to my children and put the other non-essential things aside because it did not fit with my priorities.  The other tasks and goals in my life are secondary to the plans I have made to keep  the Lord, my children and my husband first.
The effect that this had was that once I had determined that they were God’s best will for my life, it was easy to make the choice to keep them in a place of priority. And when I knew and had decided that they were God’s will for my life–then I didn’t see them as often as interruptions but as gifts. I would see my moments with them as opportunities to love and to teach and to train, instead of seeing them as interruptions to what I wanted to do with my time and with my life. They were not interruptions–they were my priority, from God.”

that’s where I’m at right now.  Interrupted by the LORD.  He is reminding me of some things.  I’m trying to slow down my “thoughts” and “look” around me more...look into their eyes and the other precious people that the LORD has given to me to walk this journey with.  
I have been praying that my words AND my thoughts would be pleasing to Him.  (Ps. 19:14)  How quickly I miss the mark and let rude words come out or began to realize that my thoughts are selfish and well, whiny.  
So, I will let the interruptions come and look at them, and ask the LORD to teach me in the moment.  I want to remember ...
to see ...
and to find the treasures that He has in each moment.
This last week, I had FOUR root canals, yep, 4.  Want to know the good in that?  There "just happened" to be a dr. that was in town from California interviewing with my normal dentist.  He just happened to be doing molar root canals as part of his interview.  He just happened to have ONE spot open which was offered to me at the last minute.  And he just happened to be doing the work for “insurance only” prices.  Know what the LORD blessed us with that day through these awesome people?  Just under two thousand dollars of work for free.  So, yet, I am up at 3 a.m. with my face hurting, I interrupt my self pity and remind myself of the LORD’s goodness to me.  We really could not afford that dentist bill.  But the LORD had a plan...
a good plan.  

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

My Pretty Little Blond

I remember when Caresse, Kalyn and I were at the art fair when a sweet, older man laughingly said, “She must be yours?”, pointing to Kalyn, and then pointed to Caresse and said “But she can’t be.”
I laughed back and teasingly told him that she was just following us around hoping that I would buy food for her.  
My side of the family has American Indian in them, which is obvious when you look at Kalyn.  Caresse definitely takes after Steve’s family who came from Holland only two generations ago.  
The fun part is how much Kalyn can be like her daddy, and how VERY much Caresse is like me in personality. 

Today I am taking Corbin to the ENT to find out what is going on with that thyroid cyst.  

Monday, October 8, 2012

Beautiful Day, Sweet Love

My favorites from this weekends pictures for my sweet friend Hannah and her fiancĂ©, Ben.  
Aren’t they cute.  Of course, a beautiful Autumn Colorado day doesn’t hurt things any.
(Silly me, yes Rebecca, I took these pictures...)

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Yarning Along

Two of my favorite things, knitting and reading!  I’m joining Yarn Along over at Small Things this week!
I am in love with the yarn I a using for these fingerless mitts for Kiana.  It is a Cascade 220 yarn.  I don’t remember the color, but you might be able to see from these pictures that it is ridiculously gorgeous - hints of blue and pink whispered  through out the purple.  The pattern is called Handsies.  I really like this pattern, and it has several different sizes so that I can make some for the other children.  I have never knit mittens before, but I am enjoying them.  They are quick and I feel like I have really accomplished something pretty.
I am being encouraged by a book called Found Faithful by Elizabeth R. Skoglund.  
Visit Small Things if you would like to see some other beautiful things!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Thyroid Cyst

My poor little Corbin Samuel has a thyroid cyst right under his chin.  I’m grateful that it doesn’t hurt him to much, but we need to see an ENT as soon as possible to look into it.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Not Even Chocolate...

After a hard weekend of cleaning mouse nests out of the garage, painting a garage wall,  and scrubbing water stains off of the outdoor windows, 
this is how you would find us this afternoon.
Some days, not even chocolate is enough to keep me going!
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