Tuesday, December 20, 2011

We Are Breathing A Little More Deeply

There is so much I want to write about, but due to bad winter storms, we are being forced to pack up to leave tomorrow for our Texas Christmas as soon as Steve gets off work and then we will drive all night to get to Texas. 
Before we leave I wanted to write a few things...
-Thank you all for your comments on the last few post.  I can never truly tell you all how much your words of encouragement, support and prayers mean to me/us.
-Noelani and Clive are doing a little better each day, thus, I feel like we can breathe a little better right now.
-It is so cute because Noelani will look at Kiana (our other Chinese daugher, home since she was 11 months old) and talk to her in Chinese thinking that she will be able to translate, which, of course, she can’t.
-The children are really doing well with each other...Clive even began to play games with the children yesterday...big step for him.
-Clive has no concept of what will hurt him right now, and  accidentally  burned his cheek on the hot light shade...poor baby.  I must watch him even more closely, even though he was in the same room as I was.  I just had never thought of him climbing up on the back of the couch and touching the floor lamp with his face - honestly, I’m still not sure how he did it.
-There really are some pretty funny moments that come up with us trying to communicate with our new Chinese speaking children, but I’m to tired to think of an example right now.
-Which leads to the fact that I am may be getting 3-4 hours of sleep right now...I am so tired.
Again, thank you all for your prayers for us.  I am so grateful...I hope that I can blog more in the next few days...but I will as soon as I can.
loves,
Shonni

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Hope Is A Fixed Anchor

I’m not finding it easy to post these pictures, or my thoughts when I see them.  Yet, this is the LORD’s story, and OUR story.  We do not know what the ending is yet.  But HOPE is our anchor.  
First meeting with Clive.

First meeting with Noelani.

She was very upset and scared.  

Our translators tried to help us with her questions and her fears.  This is so NOT like receiving a baby.  I can’t hold them or comfort them.  Sorry, I really have no words.

She is showing me her photo book from the orphanage.  It was so noisy and stressful in this room with dozen’s of children crying in the background.   

My thoughts here were “O.K. little girl, we are BOTH going to have to be brave...I’m scared, your scared, but we have to walk this thing through.  


Trying...

Trying to talk with Steve at the hotel.  Things really went from bad to worse for all of us.  Noelani wrapped up in the curtains, mumbled in Chinese and wouldn’t come out.  
I can SAY that we prepared for this adoption of older children; we knew and understood how hard it can be for older children.  But, I can also now say that there is no way I could have ever been prepared for the EMOTIONS - both ours and theirs.  The next weeks placed this experience as one of the top three worse things I have gone through in my adult life.  There have been times in my life that I felt I was following the LORD’s will, and yet when I was walking it out, I would have easily told God that had of I “known” how hard it was going to be, I wouldn’t have done it.  I’m glad that I had those experiences to look back on and draw hope from as we woke each day and my raw emotions were saying “LORD, I can’t do this. I DON’T WANT to do this.”
Kalyn and I, our family, and being adopted were rejected and hated and this was certainly communicated to us in no uncertain terms. 
Shell shock would be the best way to describe our time in China.  And I just couldn’t find those “warm-fussy” mothering feelings anymore.  Kalyn and I daily encouraged each other with prayer, scripture and songs, yet mostly we just did the next things that had to be done and prayed that our time in China would end soon.  I have to say up front, our agency, ASIA, was AMAZING in their support for our family.  They saw this for the crisis that it was and truly went out of their way to help this adoption succeed.  I am very grateful to them and to Jacqueline, who allowed me to cry and express my fears and feelings in safety, and also listened to and tried to help Noelani and Clive.  How grateful I was that she was in the same hotel with us, and I often had to call her for help.  
I have been up at 3 the last few nights, thinking things threw and praying.  I read a beautiful devotional from E. Elliot in the early hours of this morning.  I’ll share from it later, but for now, I wanted to begin our story, because it is with HOPE and in FAITH, that I believe the ending of the story will be amazing, because I know that we belong to and faithful and amazing God.

Friday, December 16, 2011

I NEED a baa-baa...

These were the first words that my darling baby Keshawn said to me today, right after he hugged me, patted my back, and said he was glad that I was home.  He also showed me his casted arm and asked me to kiss it.  After I fed him his bottle last night, just hours after we came home with our two newest children, Keshawn then threw up his supper and his bottle all over his blue casted arm.  (Laughing) I am so glad to be home!!!!  The warm “mothering”feelings that I haven’t felt for a few days, came rushing back up like a spring out of the dry ground.  
Noelani and Clive did “pretty” good on the way home.  I cried when the USA stamped their pass ports and said “They are now American citizens.”  
I want to thank you all for your prayers, and sweet encouragement to us.  You up held me while I was there.
Guess what we received today?  Just hours after being home, we found out that our family had been nominated and received the support of our church to be gifted with a Walmart gift card for several hundred dollars AND we got to “shop” in the church lobby for Christmas gifts given by the church for families.   Because of different things, we really weren’t going to give the children Christmas gifts.  How fun it was for Steve and I to look at all the toys and games and choose things that we knew the children would enjoy.  We were a little afraid when we first walked in and the lady asked us how many children we were “shopping” for.  Steve laughingly said “ummmmmmmmm, we have 13 children, but we could just pick for 10 if that is O.K.?”  The lady was sweet and said “That’s fine, we have your family down for 12.”  Even though we didn’t pick things for 12 children, it was certainly a blessing to pick things for the children.  
I am so tired!  LOL  Steve and I were up with Clive and Noelani most of the night.  I have not slept well for weeks!  When Steve took Clive down stairs around 5 a.m. I fell ASLEEP for the 1st time in almost 3 weeks.  And boy, did I sleep.  I kept thinking that it was may be 10:00 a.m. and then Steve came in and said it was 1:00 p.m. and he was afraid that if I didn’t get up, I wouldn’t sleep tonight. 
So, tonight, I am so glad to be home!! And to be with my family again.  
Please PRAY for my mom (Gommy) and my dad (Dandy).  A very heavy box fell on Dandy today, and at first he thought his leg was broke.  We are praying that it is just badly bruised.  And after years of favoring the one leg that was not damaged in the accident, Gommy found out that the “good” knee has pretty much collapsed.   She needs a surgery to replace that knee.  It had to support so much for so long that it just gave out.  We are praying our way though Christmas.  We are suppose to leave next Thursday for Texas....
I have so many thoughts about that and China.  I am praying to have time to write them down here in the next few days.  
BUT for now, there is a little baby boy, with his arm in a cute little blue cast, that NEEDS his baa-baa...
so I will write more soon.
loves,
Shonni

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

From shonni

I have not figured out a way around the block here in Ch. so I have not been able to post on my blog.  However, that is really only half the reason for not personally writing anything. Many of you have probably “figured” out from Steve and Caresse’s little notes that things have been very hard here.  I honestly have had no words for what we all are going through. Some where along the way, my understanding and love for these little people has been murked up in the hard emotions and their extreme misbehavior.  Believe me when I say that right now, love IS A CHOICE for us.  If I did not have faith in the LORD’s good plans for our us, I am not sure how we would have gone on.   I still really don’t know what to say to you all except to share the thoughts of my heart ... the anchor that has help me the last few weeks.  The Lord reminded me the 1st few days that He loved us first, before we loved Him and that He loved us while we were still in our “ugliness” - our sin and bad attitudes.  Boy, do these two have some “ugliness” and bad attitudes that are hard to love “past”.  N. has truly done a very good job of trying to push us away and make us “hate” her.  C mimics her bad stuff and then adds his own little battles to the field.  Kalyn and I have slept very little, and are truly exhausted emotionally.  
I have also been remembered the words that He spoke to me earlier this Autumn...to be faithful in the work that He has for us to do.  “In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.  To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.” Ps. 22:4-5.  My parents have certainly been an examples of “the fathers” who trusted the LORD, and now Steve and I have the chance to yet again, show, in action, our trust in God.  How many times I have prayed and asked the LORD to teach me His paths, His ways...”Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths.  Lead me in Your trust and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long.” Ps. 25-4-5  Is He surely not answering that prayer and teaching me to love as He loves me?
Other comfort has come from these verses “My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He will pluck my feet out of the net.  Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.  The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.  Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.”  Ps. 25”15-18.  
And the LORD has reminded me of my “field” right now...”The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.  each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.  As it is written, ‘He has distributed freely He has given to the poor, His righteousness endures forever.’ He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.  You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.  For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God.”  2 Cor. 9:6-12
My eyes turn to the LORD right now, often with no words to even speak.  We must keep our eyes on Him and on His truth.  He has led us to this ministry - to parent these children.  My emotions don’t want to...my heart is seeking Him for the strength...it will not be by my might or for my praise, but for His glory and His praise.  
Today, we got up and breathed.  Last night the oldest threw a fit of epic proportions in the lobby that was out of control.  I wont go into to details, but she has been under “house arrest" today.  I just can’t trust what she will do in public.  Please pray us home sweet friends.  And thank you for your amazing support, help, encouragement and prayers through this journey.  
THE LORD’S TRUTH SHINES HERE...THE LORD LOVES THE FATHERLESS, and one day THEY will know that!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Test OK

They did x-rays on Clive and everything is all right! Still having difficulties with Noelani and her adjustments to her new life. Being very challenging and emotions are strained. Need to get her home where we can love and parent her and help her. Pray Jesus surround, comfort, protect, and minister to her and all of her fears/anxiety that are causing her to act out.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Update

Update from Shonni-Clive is having a reaction to the TB scratch test. Going on for the follow up today. May need X-ray depending on what the Dr. says. Maybe nothing, but don't know yet. Things still very stressful for everyone. Please keep praying! Thanks.

Adjustments, Alvin and Anticipation


So we are 5 days from us all being a family together again. From my talks with Shonni and Kalyn, they are more than ready to be home. This has been an emotionally challenging and draining trip. Not quite the “adventure” we had all hoped it to be. Noelani and Clive are still going through adjustments which are trying. Noelani; breaking out in hives, being difficult, testing the limits and resistant to bonding. Clive; loving and bonding, but also clingy to Shonni at times, to the point he makes her carry him everywhere, and yet not very nice to Kalyn. He does well in the hotel room, but becomes unruly in public.  Should any of this come as a surprise? These babies are coming from an orphanage environment and into a very strange world they no little of. The fear, anxiety, stress in these little ones must be enormous. We pray for the love of Jesus to shine through, His wisdom to know how to parent these children, their hearts to be softened, His peace to reign.

On the home front, all is essentially well. The kids just finished watching “Alvin and the Chipmunks – the Squeakqual”  - what more needs to be said? We are working to keep the house picked up and clean, to have no further injuries, and to keep the peace (we have had a few “negative attitudes” but overall not bad. We’ve been watching lots of movies, playing Kinects (even with Jace and Karlie over the internet), doing crafts, and just getting ready for mommy, Kalyn, Noelani and Clive to be home.

I think we are all anxious about the weeks that lay ahead with our new family, the holidays, traveling, and beyond. I am sure there will be more adjustments, not only for the two new little ones, but for the rest of us as well. But isn’t that what He has called us to? Not a life of ease and comfort, but one of risk and challenge? Stepping out in faith which more often than not will mean difficulties? It is in those times that we get to see God move and learn to trust in Him and not in our own efforts. For it is only through Him in us that we can accomplish anything.

We greatly appreciate your prayers and your notes of encouragement and support. 

Steve



Thursday, December 8, 2011

Christmas shopping.

A shopping day with nine children can be pretty hectic, but no more then usual! Today me and Dad are getting all of our presents together for Christmas and birthday's! Thank you all for your prayers for Keshawn's arm. He is doing much better and being as much a little stinker as always =).  Here is a pictures of him with his cast. He wouldn't smile and open his eyes for me.Haha.

  
Kalyn and Mom are still going through some problems so please continue praying for them. Below are Pictures of my three latest sewing projects, a long silk dress,
                                                                      A green peasant shirt   




And a new pillowcase with a doe embroidery.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Trials continue- please keep praying!

Wishing I could take my ladies place in China as they weather the storm of transition with the children. It is emotionally taxing, for all of them. Not the smooth, seamless process we all hoped and prayed for. But difficult does not always mean bad, but when you are in the midst of it, I know it is hard to see the other side. I can pray and encourage from half a world away, but what I wish I could do is hold them, comfort them, and even take their place. Lord, where their faith is challenged, may my faith suffice, for the hope lays not in the size of my faith, but in the greatness of my God in whom I have faith!

Need for Prayer in China

Just spoke with Shonni. She has Noelani and Clive, but they are having a very difficult first go of it right now. Big adjustment issues with the kids. Please keep them in prayer! Got to imagine it is a huge change for these two kids to be leaving their "home" at the orphanage to go with these two strangers. Shonni and Kalyn need wisdom and strength on how to love them through this process.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Beijing, Broken Bones, and Blessings

Caresse has been doing a great job giving some tidbits to keep ya'll up to date, Thanks sweetie! I thought I would try and fill everyone on a bit more of the happenings. Unfortunately, there will be no pictures, because Shonni and Kalyn took all of the cameras with them! Imagine that!

Beijing - So Shonni and Kalyn made it safely to Beijing on Wednesday. With the wonders of technology, we have been able to Skype with them a couple of times (usually first thing in their am and in the late afternoon for us given the 15 hour time difference). Other than being extremely tired the first day, they have been having a great time. They are more or less getting a personal tour since there is no one else in their group. Also since it is winter (yes freezing temps and snow) there are very few crowds at all of the tourist sites. Even their tour guide has commented that she is getting to see things she has not seen since she was a little girl. as would be expected, in some situations, Shonni and Kalyn have become the tourist attraction, with people asking to take their picture or discretely taking is to capture the foreigners on film!

They have gotten to see several temples, the great wall, forbidden city, the summer palace, Tienanmen Square as well as Kung fu and acrobatic shows. They will be flying to  Guangzhou on Sunday and then meet Noelani and Clive on Monday. These few days in Beijing have been a nice opportunity to not just see some of China, but also to adjust to the changes (time and culture) before they meet the children. There is still some anxiety about meeting the children; how they will respond, how they all will communicate, and more, but having a few days prep under their belts will certainly help.

Bones - of course our adventure has included the littlest one, Keshawn, breaking his arm the day Shonni and Kalyn left for China. Pretty traumatic to start things off, but life has settled down now (as much as it can with 9 little ones and daddy in charge!)   Keshawn is healing well, so much so that other than the cast on his arm you never know he had recently been hurt! Everyone else is doing well too, missing mommy and sister of course, but making the best of the time they are away. We have had snow and cold weather, which limits any outside play, but we have had inside play time, movies, and even sleeping out in the family room one night!

Blessing - What can I say, we have had numerous blessings to be thankful for: friends who came to help at a moments notice when I had to stay in the hospital with Keshawn ( Thanks Hannah and Theresa!)  Help from family with last minute adoption expenses, able to get a last minute loan to cover the in country fees (not what we planned to do, but thankful we were able to and well worth taking out a loan to bring our children home), finally got our full tax refund, unexpectedly and with interest! (now we can get some pesky bills paid off!) Lots of prayer support. words of encouragement, and well wishes. We are thankful for everyone who is standing with us as we walk out this journey of faith.

God is so good and so faithful. We see that each and everyday, through the good times and the tough times. For me the lesson learned (again!) is to always keep Him at the center and to not let the circumstances of life take precedence over Him as I am often guilty of doing. I too easily think I have to focus on the problems to try and find answers or solutions, when in fact what I must do is look past the problems to Him and let Him rule in my heart soul and mind. Whenever I finally get around to doing that it is incredible how He brings the answers and solutions!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Keshawn

Keshawn is doing wonderful, they got the bone set and put it in a cast and sling thank you all for your prayers. Mom and Kalyn have made it to Beijing and are doing great. They will continue to Guangzhou on Sunday, Which will be Saturday here. Again thank you all for your prayers.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Update...

Keshawn has broken his arm and will have surgery first thing tomorrow morning.

LOTS OF PRAYER...

Dad is on his way to the ER with Keshawn. Don't know if his wrist is broken or dislocated. Pleases be praying especially with Kalyn and Mom gone.
Caresse

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Blog Mess, Thanksgiving and CHINA!!!!!

Hi every one.  Poor Alexis is working hard to fix my blog, as well as several others.  I pray that it is fixed soon!!!!
We had a wonderful weekend with Steve’s family from Denver.  And then Jace and Karlie were able to come for the 1st time since their wedding.  It was so fun ... we didn’t tell the children that Jace and Karlie were coming for the week.  So on Wednesday, I was “looking” for them.  They wanted to sneak up from the back.  All of a sudden one of the children yells, “Hey, there is some one on our land!”  







They were so surprised and lots of happy noise filled the house!


In other news, 
WE ARE LEAVING FOR CHINA IN TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AHHHHHH.
I must seriously start packing today and make sure that we have everything that we need.  After that I might run around the house screaming like a mad woman.....SO EXCITED.

Friday, November 18, 2011

I Almost Lost It...

My mind, that is.  I woke up this morning and my mind began to think.  It probably shouldn’t have done that, and I tried to distract it, but IT insisted on going down a bad road.  It began to think about some pain of some loved ones, and how hard it is being to find food that fits Landon’s newly discovered and severe food allergies; it wondered around the up coming China trip and packing for it; it teased with the idea of not doing school today (it is our last day till after Christmas); it stressed over the meals for next week, including Thanksgiving here at our house; it dwelt on the MANY things that need to be done before I leave and stressed over finances.  
I quickly felt that I was about to loose it.  
So I took control of it and told it to shush, sit down follow the schedule for the day.  FIRST - have Bible with the children.  “It” consented reluctantly.  Still fighting my silent battle with my mind after Bible I told it to play some school games with the children.  It didn’t want to...”To bad” I told it.  So I began a school game with one of the children, and it slowly started to relax and enjoy itself a little.  Before long, it came around to “my” way of thinking and we played a spelling game with the older ones.  It even offered some helpful suggestions for the little ones to play.  
And before we knew it, we, my mind and I, felt that we just might make it through this busy time. I just hope it continues to stay focused on the most important things...GOD and loving my family!!



Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The LORD Reminded Me...



 “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good."

 I often think when I am reading the Bible, how I can apply it to being a mother, or other areas of my days.  When I read the above verse this morning I thought how many times my eyes see the “evil” or the bad that the children do, but I needed to be reminded to see the “good” more often.  

It is so easy for me to unintentionally just “notice” the bad and sinful behaviors.  I stop noticing the good that they do, and showing them my appreciation for it.  A good reminder today to intentionally be sure that “my eyes” are also seeing the good.
We are praying for an appointment today...Steve and I are driving to Denver to have an “intake” appointment with an Occupational Therapist for Aiden.  Praying for the LORD’s direction and wisdom!!!!  Goodness, do I need some here.

Monday, November 14, 2011

I Probably Shouldn’t Have Said THAT....

And it is obvious that their shock went on....
...and on, and....




...and, well, I bet you get the picture.
What did I dare say to cause such distress and dismay?


Out of pure frustration, with a TAD of tiredness, and in the midst of complete pandaemonium, I yelled down the hall to no one in particular;
“THERE WILL BE NO MORE SINNING IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT.”
And I am going to be the first to set a good example for this declaration....I am going to bed right this second!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Yep....

I’m grateful!  Grateful for the many prayers for our adoption journey; grateful for the donations to help bring our children home; grateful that my husband follow’s Jesus’ example when He says in John “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.”; grateful that my children embrace more siblings with excitement; grateful for my parents and family who share theirs lives and love with us; grateful to you for sharing our journey of love.  THANK YOU!


We have had a few questions asked....
-Sadly, we moved on to plan B...Steve will be staying home with our family and now Kalyn will be going with me.  I really did not want to go alone this time.  I have done that several times, and it is just so very hard.
-We still need several thousand dollars to help pay for the travel expenses.  Thank you all for your donations, and please pray for the rest to come in - SOON.
-We will be staying in Guangzhou City.  Our children are at the Social Welfare Center of Bao’an district, Shenzhen City.  We will meet them December the 5th.


I end this post the way I began it...GRATEFUL!  The LORD is near, we are not alone.  Praise the LORD.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Happy Awesome Good Wonderful News

We have our consulate appointment December 13th.  So we will be leaving the 1st week of December!
I am BEGGING you other adoptive parents who have traveled to China to share advice, tips and good places to visit with me!!!
YEA!!!!!!!!!!
Praise the LORD!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

We Do Have A Choice

"Abraham's life was a life a faith, and the life of faith is a life of testing. At every juncture we are tested. Passing each test requires stubborn optimism, resolute confidence in God and steadfast obedience. Life's problems are opportunities to prove our faith and to improve our faithfulness. We fail life's tests when we give in to despair, lose confidence in God or turn away from obedience. Every difficulty and trial is a test of faith. Will we assess the problem through the eyes of faith or not? Will we respond in faith or faithlessness?”  (First Fruits of Zion)
This above quote was very encouraging to me as I continue to walk through our days.  What an awesome and sometimes scary adventure we can choice to walk with the LORD.  But, oh, how I want to choose faithfulness each day.  We do have a choice, don’t we.  I encourage us to remember to look at our days through eyes of faith.
We have been at the dr.’s again with Landon’s tummy problems.  We now know that he has severe allergies to wheat, peanuts and soy.  Tonight, Steve and I are becoming food detectives as we begin to remove everything that is causing him to be sick.  And so far, IT’S A LOT!  


We are still waiting to see if we can travel to China in early December.  Goodness, you would think as many times as I have been through this “wait” I would be better at it.  But I find myself completely distracted, waiting, hopeful, ready ... like a woman who’s time is near and all her thoughts are on the upcoming “birth”.  
How are ya’ll doing?  Can you believe that Thanksgiving is in just a few weeks?  We usually have Thanksgiving at our brother-in-laws house...however, we are glad to have it here this year, as their house is still being rebuilt after the lightening fire.  I am trying to come out of my “when are we going to China” fog long enough to find some fun and nice things to do with the children and to fix for our visiting family.  
Have you found anything fun to do with your children for this special time of the year?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

You Called Me

In the middle of the night, I hear a little voice wake me up, “Mommy, I had a bad dream.  Can I sleep with you, Please.”  "Of course you can."  I scoot over to make room for your little body to snuggle.
Trying desperately to finish  a project, I am interrupted yet again, “Mommy, will you come see the marble maze that I just made.”  Yes, I will come.  I set aside the project with a sigh,  reminding myself that the little voice that called me is more precious than any project.
As I sit at the end of a long day, a small body squishes between my husband and I with his pooh bear, blanket and bottle and asks me to hold him and feed him.  Grateful that my husband values my role as a nurturer, we make room for him and I answer his call. 
Down the hall I hear my little man calling “Momma, kiss me good night.”  I feel slightely guiltly that I was rushing to get in my bed, but I turn around, remembering what a joy it is to have so many children who lay in my home waiting for their bed time loves.
My pretty daughter is growing into womanhood.  She needs me to listen to her and empathize with the many emotions that come with growing up.  I remind myself to stop and look and listen and love. 
Sitting to eat my meal finally, after serving 8 plates of food, one child remembers that he needs something.  I get up to meet the request.
Each day, I hear the little voices calling - a hurt ouchie to fix, sad tears, hurt feelings, creations to see, books to read, teeth to pull out, little bodies to bathe, sickness to soothe, artwork to admire, hungry tummies, things to teach, games to play, “I love you Mommy” hugs around my neck.  I answer each call sometimes with patience, and sadly sometimes with irritation.  I let my selfishness and my own desires dull my ears to the little one’s calls.

Half way around the world, a little girl sleeps tonight.  She has known hunger, pain, and fear.  Her world is one of loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, and struggles.  There is none to hear her voice when she has a bad dream, draws a pretty picture, cries in pain, is hungry, sad or afraid. 


In a far away and foreign country, a little boy plays alone.  He goes through his days. He dresses himself and feeds him self.  Does any one wipe his tears, or cheer his accomplishments?
I read the information about these orphaned children.  I look at their precious faces.  I think, can we pay for one more adoption?  Can I mother one more child?  I have feelings that conflict for just a moment… fear, uncertainty…
Then, I hear You call me yet again.  You replace my fear with faith, my uncertainty with excitement.  And I know: You have called me to mother another child.  I joyfully answer “Yes LORD. Let’s Go!"

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Our First Introduction...


...to Noelani and Clive was very special.  Before, I go further though, I really need to state that skyping with your children is NOT normal and is usually not possible.  I would hate for other adoptive families to hope that they can skype with their future children when really, it is normally just not possible.  And to ask puts a huge pressure on the precious agencies and orphanages who serve us families.  This was a very special and unusual opportunity, and one that we all pursued for the sake of Noelani. 
Having said that now, the connection was very slow and unclear, so we were not able to see the children very well.  Communication was also hard.  They had an interpreter and the children would look to him/her to try to understand a few things that we were saying.  One sweet moment was when I said “we love you” to them, and Noelani looked to the interpreter to find out what I said, and then she repeated it back slowly in English.  Bless her sweet heart!  I cannot even imagine the fear that she must have...but I’m trying too.  We tried to show them a few things in the house, but I’m not sure how much they were able to see.  Noelani did a little dance for us - so stinkin’ precious and Clive was interested in just looking at the computer and trying to figure it out.  
When we had to say goodbye, all I could think was how much I love them and want to hold them in my arms.  We do think that the adjustments could be very hard for our daughter, and we are trying to prepare for that.  I must admit, I’m a little scared also.  But seeing them just made me love them more.  
We have a new prayer request...my sister in law, Karla, was going to come stay with the children to help Kalyn, but she is feeling very sick and may not be able to come.  We are praying for the LORD’s direction and leading in this.  We feel that Kalyn needs someone to stay with her...and if push comes to shove, Steve may have to say home and me go alone...not our plan A. 
Thank you all for your prayers and sweet encouragement for us.  We still do not have our TA, but are praying for it in the next few days. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I’m Trying To Not Freak Out...

No, we don’t have our TA yet, which is driving me a little crazy, since we thought we would be on an airplane this month flying to our children in China.
However, the AWESOME thing that is happening today is that we are skyping with our children at 7:00 tonight, which is 9:00 a.m Wednesday for them.  
In just a few hours we will be “meeting” our children, sort of, face to face.  This is pretty unusual in adoptions I hear.  Our agency felt that it might be helpful for Noelani because of what has happened in the past.  I am really nervous, excited, scared, thrilled...
and wondering.
How will it go meeting them like this?  What will we say? Will they like us?  What will it be like trying to skype with the language differences?  I know that they will be nervous and shy...how do I help them (and me)?
We bought them an outfit and a gift each to show to them tonight.  We plan to walk them through the house and show them their bedrooms.  Or course, we will introduce them to their siblings.  We were advised to try to learn a few Chinese phrases to say to them; to show them that we are trying.  But every time I try to remember what I was trying to learn, I forget it.  Do we try to teach them a song?  How?  Thoughts swirl through my head...I can hardly think straight.  
Oh, Please Pray for us...we are about to meet our children!!!!!!!!!
And please share ANY advise that you might have!  
I’ll let you know how things go!
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