Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Were’s My Passion!!!!!!!!!

In the quiet, darkness of 5:00 a.m. I reluctantly rolled out of our warm bed with thoughts and prayers on my mind.  I much prefer to stay in our warm bed till 6:30, but the heaviness of certain problems felt crushing and instead of trying in vain to go back to sleep I decided it was better to get up and spend time reading the Bible, praying and asking Him for direction.  
I have felt so “down” lately ... wondering where my normal passion had gone.  Yes, of course, “reasons” could be given - financial tightness, broken things around the house, home educating 8 children, mothering 11, preparing for two new children to come home, Aiden’s SPD, concern that Corbin also has some learning slowness, Landon’s sickenss, Caresse’s shoulder, taking care of the home, meals, chores, laundry....
Yes, many “reasons” could be given.  And, in the “nornal” many would agree that the above list is quite - well - MUCH.  But, I KNEW, that it wasn’t the “much” of it that was getting me down because the much of it was the very reason that we choice to journey with the LORD.  Let me explain that better...plainly put, we started out passionate for children that had no family, no home and we knew what we were getting into when we signed up to follow the LORD on this adventure of ministry that He has for us.  We were and still are passionate to bring home and give a family to those that HE says are our children.  We have not put any number of children limit on the LORD and will continue to passionately open up our home and family to those that He brings.  We are passionate about loving these precious ones as He has taught us to in the Bible.  In fact, the “passion” of it all had long been my emotional mode of transportation.  In other words - what got me through each day.  
And, “dog-gone-it (Texas slong), I still believed that we were working the “field” that He had called us to.  So where was that dadgum (more Texas slang) emotional passion!!!!!  I needed it back. 
I know this is getting long....
do you want me to finish our should I wait till tomorrow?  Do you want to know what the LORD told me?  
LOL - I MIGHT be teasing you a bit....
let me know.

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