Monday, March 14, 2011

I DON’T WANT To Walk This Road!!!!

I don’t!!!!
I don’t want to walk this road of death with my beloved uncle; the man who has been a second father to me.
All I can cry this morning is "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" as I think of an old hymn that we use to sing in our church when I was a little girl.  All I want to do is hold his hand as he lies in the hospice bed and never let it go; to feel the warmth of life that is still in it; to gaze in his eyes every time he opens them and pray that he knows I am here with him; to speak his name and tell him again that I love him. 
This death thing stinks and hurts and is completely uncontrollable...
except by ONE.  
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

18 comments:

  1. I'm sorry Shonni that you are on this road right now. My "Nani" {my maternal grandmother and closest grandparent} past away in October, and sat right next to her hospice bed holding her hand wanting to feel the warmth in them and just waiting for the moments she would open her eyes and maybe even smile at me. IT STINKS! Death is not natural. God did not create us to die...that's just because of sin! Someday we won't ever have to live through others death again. Praying for the Comforter to be by your side through this {hugs}.

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  2. I'm sorry that you're going through this but know you're not alone, keep calling our to our comforter Jesus.
    My father died 2 yrs. ago and I miss him terribly but I couldn't walk down that road without our Lord. I will pray for you.

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  3. I'm sorry, Shonni. I wish I had some words, but you are already focused on the best...Jesus. {{{{Hugs}}}}

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  4. Ugh! I am so so sorry! Praying for you!

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  5. Shonni,
    Bringing you before the Throne of grace. Rest in the Lord and He will sustain you and give you strength you need in the face of difficulty.

    May the Lord fill your heart with peace!
    Joshua

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  6. so sorry shonni!

    big hugs and know i'm praying for you!

    love you!
    jill

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  7. I'm so sorry, Shonni. Praying peace for you and your family as it only can come from Him. {{hugs}}
    trina

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  8. Oh Shonni, I'll be praying for you and for your family.

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  9. Prayers for you and your uncle. God bless, Jennifer

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  10. Oh sweet precious friend...I wish I could be there to hug you, cry with you, & pray with you! I am so sorry!! Praying for God's beautiful, complete peace and strength! {{HUGS}} ~stacy

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  11. Shonni, I wish that I could say something that would make it better. I've been through a great loss and I still can't find the right words. Praying for you and your family. Xoxo

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  12. I am so so sorry Shonni! I can understand. I was in that situation with my sweet grandpa a few years ago. I was alone with him, holding his hand, petting his forehead and singing Amazing Grace through my sobs. And I felt God's grace and peace. I pray you feel it too and are able to let go when the moment comes. May God flood you with His peace and love and sweet memories.((hugs))

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  13. AS you know, I just walked this walk too with my mother-in-law so I can say with a very raw and authentic heart that I am sorry!!

    Praying for you and thinking of you!!

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  14. I'm so sorry you are walking this road now... but even now HE is with you... and your sweet uncle. How precious to have such a man in your life for any length of time. May you be able to find joy and peace in the life this precious man lived for His Savior. (He holds all our tears and they are never lost...)
    blessings
    Dawn

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  15. Praying for you my dear friend!!! May God hold you, your uncle and your entire family tightly! Love you!

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  16. Praying for you, Sweet Girl.
    I have wished for the same thing.
    I am sorry you are hurting.

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  17. Oh Shonni, I am so so sorry... I lost my dear uncle last summer and then my grandmother on Thanksgiving Day, it is so hard. I am so thankful that while we grieve and grieve hard, we don't have to grieve as those who have no hope (1 Thes. 4:13)... Praying that in your time of sadness you will feel the sweet arms of Jesus holding you close...

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  18. oh shonni, i'm so sorry..please know our prayers are with you right now. darci

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