Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Fear by Kalyn

Kalyn called last night and one of her brand new teeth had broken off. Of course, this isn't suppose to happen! So we are praying that we can find someone down there in South Texas to fix it before they need to enter Mx. 
Kalyn wrote me this morning and I want to share what my little girl is going through.

"Hey mama,

I started this a few days before I left home. I finished it last Sunday, and when I was writing it I thought, 'there is no way that this poem expresses my feelings.' I was writing it as if I was saying it but like it didn't mean that much to me personally. And then tonight when you called me and I got off the phone for a few minutes I felt every emotion that I describe in this poem. It's called Trust.

Why should I have cause to fear?
Is not the Father of the Universe here?
Does He not walk beside me?
Is it not by His son’s blood that I am free?
Then why is my spirit faint?
And why does my strength wan?
Dark clouds gather
Waiting to break loose and my dreams to shatter
I am cloaked with doubt and fear
And my vision is no longer clear
I feel lost and alone
No material thing I own
Can help me or give me bravery
All I want to do is flee
I close my eyes as tears fall
Is this the road to which I was called?
Or have I strayed from the way?
And now in silent misery I must lay?
No, lies!
Life is always filled with ifs and why’s
What was done wrong and done right
What was hidden in darkness and what was brought to light
So many questions about the past
And if in the future our souls will last
Dare I move forward on this road?
With fear and doubt as my load?
How can I trust that He will provide?
And that from my call He will not hide?
Trust, a single word, a single action
That can cause so much hesitation
Dare I trust?
I know that to truly live I must
There is only one reason why
I would walk this road were so thickly my devils fly
For You
And that is unshakably true
The first step is taken
Leaving all I have been
My trust has been placed
And I know that my trust shall not go to waste
I pull the cool air deep inside me
And face my destiny
I feel a new presence on the wind
That brings my hesitation to an end
Fear in my heart yet remains
And I know there will be days when it pours and rains
But I choose You to follow
Through thick and thin ups and lows
Hold me close, wrap me in Your arms
Engulf me with who You are
The dark clouds gather
And I open my arms to You in surrender.

I love you mom,

We all face times where we stand before fear, but we have a choice in our response to it. 
Please be praying for Kalyn and for us. 

Jace, Kalyn and Keshawn at the lake


  1. I know it must really bless your heart, Shonni, to know that your daughter walks so closely with her Father. Kalyn and your family are in my prayers. xo

  2. i am so praying for you guys and kalyn right now. if it's one thing i somewhat understand, although i haven't left home yet for Mali, it's fear, and putting my trust in Him to get me through this. There are nights i can't go to sleep until it's almost morning, (which those nights have now passed for now b/c i gave it all to Him and chose to trust)because fear would overwhelm me. Fear of not being close to comfort, fear of leaving my family and friends, fear of just not being "here" in my comfort zone anymore. I know those "dark clouds" will resurface, because i'm human, but one thing i know for sure i will do - i will keep putting my trust in Him. I have to. Because i can't do it alone. That poem described everything perfectly. Kalyn is such an awesome, talented young woman, and i hope she knows lots of people are praying for her.
    From a fellow (almost) missionary,


  3. That was so beautiful!

    I struggle with trust issues so I could definitely relate. But I believe I am growing in this area with the Lord.

    Blessings and love,

  4. What a beautiful & insightful poem. Your daughter is very gifted.
    Trusting sure is difficult at times

  5. wow. praying for your sweet daughter. but girls are 10, 7, and prayer is so much that their hearts would be fully His..what an absolute gift as a mom to see that your child walks with Him. blessings! darci :)


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