Monday, April 11, 2011

Empowered To Connect - So Much!!!

The conference was really a gift from the LORD that we were not expecting!  
Where do I begin...there is so much.
I guess at the beginning.
Many years ago (“b.c.” - before children), I felt that the LORD showed a verse to me and spoke to me that it would be foundational in raising our children.  The verse is “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you,...” Isaiah 43:4. 
I wrote what I felt the LORD said to me beside that verse “Tell my children that they are precious!” (Of course, this is for ALL of us...I pray that I appreciate that Truth in every person I meet and I am so sorry when I fail!!!)
Now, all these years later, with 11 little darlings I attended the ETC (Empowered To Connect) conference and one of the first things that Karen Purvis says is that we must see our childrens’ preciousness.  As I was writing this down in my notes, I knew that I believed this, 
however, in the “life-ness” of things, I had stopped actively communicating this to my family.  I felt a "God conviction" that I was no longer mothering my children the way that I really desire to. 
And part of the truth for me is that I have gotten off track with my real motivation.  I realized that I am not the mother that I want to be any more .  An amazing and wonderful article that helped me think this through is on Lisa’s blog, called “I used to be a good mom".  Please take the time to read this.  But don’t leave me yet....
I would like to write more, and I will share this...
Look at the “preciousness" of the children in your life and show this to them.  

Steve and I are spending this next week planning some changes that we need to make in our home and our parenting.  Remember I said earlier that I have gotten off track from my real motivation?  You might   ask, what is this motivation?”  Honestly, and painfully, my motivation has become “control”...control the arguing, the fights, the yelling, problems and the disobedience.  However, my heart motivation is to have a relationship of love and respect with my children, and to show them that they are precious to me and to the LORD. 

Please journey with me as I practically bring hope and healing to my children over the next months.  Honestly, today has been hard...there have been several melt downs (one lasted for over 45 minutes).  We are not in a “crisis” situation”, however, I can say that we are “wore down”.  But, Steve and I feel that we are on the right path to helping our children who have come from hard places and giving our family hope and healing. 
I can’t do this alone....and I pray that what I am learning, you will journey with me, because, one way or another, we all are in relationship with someone who needs to know that they are PRECIOUS.  
But before you start your tomorrow, can I tell you,
Let’s shine some PRECIOUS light!!!


  1. AMEN!!!! That has become my focus too! My joy was gone - I allowed parenting to eat it up. Instead of loving to fill me and them up! What a switch that is and how good it feels. Doesn't stop the bad behavior or all the fighting - but it is changing hearts and healing places deep inside that ONLY HE CAN TOUCH. We must be the hands and feet of His love or they will never desire to be who we ask them to become.

    Love you and in this journey right by your side!

  2. I forgot to say - nothing could have prepared me for parenting hurt children. No one could have really even explained what this journey would have been like. No book I read has even come close to what we have experienced many times over with several of our children.

    Yet, when we look at it all through His eyes and truth - the answer is always the same. Lay down our pride and hurts - don't hurt them back in any way - but love them through the tough times. We can't do it at all in our own strength - but when we allow God to work in and through us healing comes. Sometimes fast and other times really slow. It is a daily choice to parent His way. Where LOVE conquers a multitude of sins! ours and theirs! AMEN!


  3. Shonni, it was a joy to meet you and Steve at the conference. Russ and I were deeply impacted by the teaching as well and had hours of discussion as we traveled home. We walked in the door with hearts that desire to be fully present to our children. I definitely struggle with that! I would love to stay in touch as our families work to implement what we have learned. Many, many blessings on you and Steve.


  4. Hi Shonni! I tried to email you but some how that failed...will try again tomorrow. The conference really was awesome-- and today we experienced a forty-fiver too ;)

    Praying for you all,


  5. Shonni,

    This is SO exactly where we are right now! I have been truly convicted and encouraged by Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts" and by Michelle Duggar's encouragement to "praise them!" more often.

    It is the "dailiness" of it all (the fighting, manipulating, breaking things, yelling, etc. . . ) that just seems to "get" me and throws me back to the place of control rather than a place of continual thankfulness to God and of being a conduit for his love to flow through to my children! ugh.

    Maybe we can pray for each other as we walk this journey to be the kind of parents whose kids know they are precious and loved!

  6. What has happened to the two children from China you want? I thought you were going to have an auction--have I missed some posts? I've been waiting for further word about the two little ones. Please update.


  7. I can identify. I know I have been distracted with the adoption and have also lost sight of the "preciousness" at times. Thank you for your vision of mothering and parenting in God's sight. Look forward to hearing more about the changes.

  8. Thanks Shonni! I needed this reminder, too. It's been difficult here too, and I also have reverted to controlling the arguments and disobedience instead of my main focus on the loving relationship. It's like I'm just existing instead of living...ya know?!

  9. Portland Granny, sorry for the confusion...we are still bringing home our 2 from China, I was just referring to the children that are in our home right now....

    And boy I know what you mean!!!!!

  10. I can't wait to see your precious story unfold and the changes that will be made.

    Thank you for challenging me to remind my children how precious they are too!

  11. Boy does this speak to me! Karen was the key note speaker at T4A this last fall and I was so thankful to hear what she had to say. It really gave Justin and I a renewed vision.

    Sadly I have slipped back into some old ways of control so this was good for me to read. Today I will be more intentional.

    Thank you for sharing and may we spur one another on to loving our children the way God desires.

  12. Can not wait to hear what the Lord revealed to you..... thank you for sharing!!!

  13. Thank you for encouraging me to see all my children through HIS eyes!!!


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