Four words stood out to me, but not for the normal reasons that you may be thinking;
“Want what I have.”
I’ve been in this weird “mood” lately.
Kind of unmotivated;
not really depressed, but certainly tired;
may be a little “stuck”.
In fact, I have been finding it very hard to blog. What do I say today? “Ba-hum-bug” with a long sigh.
Then I hear HIM whisper softly “Walk this path that I have given you faithfully, not perfectly, but faithfully.”
Want what I have.Right now, instead of wanting -
-an answer to several of the children’s learning and developmental problems - embrace the daily life of love and learning that we have;
-instead of wanting grass in the back yard, be thankful for 5 beautiful acres for the children to play in and for my soul to feast on;
-instead of wanting more money to buy certain clothes for us all or fix problems in the house, be grateful for what we have and the MANY people who helps us to have it;
-speaking of money - choose thankfulness for this season to practice simplicity in our lives;
-instead of sadness over yesterdays hurts for some of my children, receive what the LORD has given to us today, with the hope of His good plans for tomorrow;
-instead of wanting Kalyn and Caresse to feel better, accept the LORD’s will for now and rest in that;
-instead wanting to feel more “fire” and motivation; submit to this season in my life.
It’s not that I feel “discontent”; but may be more of a frustrated waiting. Waiting to feel feel passion, purpose and joy again.
And really, as I thought on it, this season that I feel my heart is in is not so unlike the present season here in my Colorado Rocky Mountains. It is still winter here - cold and unpredictable weather, browns lands and frozen waters. Yet, occasionally a birds song or a warm breeze reminds me that soon I will feel the warmth of spring, and see the new life of plants. I long for spring and for the warmth of the sun on my home and in my heart.
And for right now, I hear this LORD tell me;
-You wanted to be married - be faithful to minster to him;
-You wanted children - be faithful in this ministry;
-You want to home educate - be faithful...
“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet Your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matt. 6:26)
I tell myself to “want what I have” and embrace this time of waiting and resting. It’s not time to harvest for a new season. It’s time to rest and wait...
and with hope.