Saturday, March 10, 2012

Want What I Have

Today I’ve been reading from a little e-book called Mindset for Moms (You can find it here.)
Four words stood out to me, but not for the normal reasons that you may be thinking;
“Want what I have.”

I’ve been in this weird “mood” lately.
Kind of unmotivated; 
not really depressed, but certainly tired;
may be a little “stuck”.
In fact, I have been finding it very hard to blog.  What do I say today? “Ba-hum-bug” with a long sigh.

Then I hear HIM whisper softly “Walk this path that I have given you faithfully, not perfectly, but faithfully.”
Want what I have.
Right now, instead of wanting -
-an answer to several of the children’s learning and developmental problems - embrace the daily life of love and learning that we have;
-instead of wanting grass in the back yard, be thankful for 5 beautiful acres for the children to play in and for my soul to feast on;
-instead of wanting more money to buy certain clothes for us all or fix problems in the house, be grateful for what we have and the MANY people who helps us to have it;
-speaking of money - choose thankfulness for this season to practice simplicity in our lives;
-instead of sadness over yesterdays hurts for some of my children,  receive what the LORD has given to us today, with the hope of His good plans for tomorrow;
-instead of wanting Kalyn and Caresse to feel better, accept the LORD’s will for now and rest in that;
-instead wanting to feel more “fire” and motivation; submit to this season in my life.

It’s not that I feel “discontent”; but may be more of a frustrated waiting.  Waiting to feel feel passion, purpose and joy again.  

And really, as I thought on it, this season that I feel my heart is in is not so unlike the present season here in my Colorado Rocky Mountains. It is still winter here - cold and unpredictable weather, browns lands and frozen waters.  Yet, occasionally a birds song or a warm breeze reminds me that soon I will feel the warmth of spring, and see the new life of plants.  I long for spring and for the warmth of the sun on my home and in my heart. 

And for right now, I hear this LORD tell me;
-You wanted to be married - be faithful to minster to him;
-You wanted children - be faithful in this ministry;
-You want to home educate - be faithful...
“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet Your Heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?” (Matt. 6:26)

I tell myself to “want what I have” and embrace this time of waiting and resting.  It’s not time to harvest for a new season.  It’s time to rest and wait...
with joy...
and with hope. 


  1. Courage!!

    I would expect extra tired and gray kind of days at this season of your life... adding to the family is a major change that will have it's effect as everyone is molded into the family.


  2. Shonni, you always have things to say which strengthen my heart. Thank you!

  3. Wow, really, really needed to read this post tonight! Thank you! Loved the photos, too. I had just listened to a very delicate, haunting piano piece a few minutes before, so the gorgeous photos echoed that feeling and emphasized what you were talking about.

    Blessings to your family from ours.

  4. Thank you for sharing your heart, Shonni. And the solution to what "ails" you. I have been going through what you are describing myself. I think it must have something to do with the post adoption blues maybe? Anyway, Spring has arrived here in my neck of the woods, at least for the next few days, and i can feel my energy and joy returning, PTL. It's been a looong Winter, a looong year. A renewed spirit is just around the corner for the both of us i feel, and as you said, it starts with being grateful and content with what we have now instead of thinking about what we don't have.

  5. I think I could have written this! It is an inner restlessness- I want the surgeries to be over and to be able to be home, I want to spend a little time in a warmer climate, I want to do something fun with the kids in NICE weather instead of cold or sloppy weather.

    But my heart needs to wait, it needs his peace and grace!
    Thank you for the solution- What do I need? I need HIM!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...