Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Guest Writer - Jace

I would like to introduce you to my oldest, Jace. He wrote a little something for our blog...I hope you like it.

I’m writing this from a Starbucks in Austin, Texas. It’s raining right now, which makes my thoughts go back to the cold days in a Colorado winter, bundled inside away from the storms outside. I truly do miss those days, the ones spent next to the fireplace, making forts in the living room, when the biggest part of my day was thinking what I would help cook the kids for lunch.
It wasn’t always easy, a lot of times it was hard actually. I love my family more than anything in the world, but there were times that even I questioned everything. People always ask if I enjoy coming from a large family, and without a doubt I tell them “yes”, I wouldn’t have ever wanted it any other way. Through all the problems, the hard times, the doubts, my family has been, every single one of them, down to 2 year old Aiden, reminding me he knows who I am by screaming “JACE!” as I walk through the door. That’s the thing that scares me the most I think, now that I’m gone, the younger ones growing up won’t remember me, I’ll just be a relative coming to visit them.
It all started with my sister Kalyn. I wanted a brother so bad, but then came this beautiful little sister, and though we’ve had our fights she’s still that little sister that I will always love more than anything and in a strange way, I look up to her, because she’s so many things I could never be. After that came Caresse, a crazy bundle of energy and emotion, who is so much like me I thought there was times I couldn’t stand her. Her and I have also had our fights, but in the end I know whenever I need a hug like no one else’s’, Caresse will be there for me. Now to Kiana. I was so scared when my parents said we were adopting, I didn’t know how I could love another kid that I didn’t even know. But then came this gorgeous little girl, who at first was so sad, and now when I think of her face, the only thing I see is her huge smile. My brother Landon, Boo Man would still be what I call him from time to time. My first brother, I love him so much, he’s quiet, so in a lot of ways the two of us are different, but there’s a bond there stronger then I can explain. Then there’s Garett, a crazy little kid that I wonder if I ever will really understand him, but beyond that I know whenever I need a laugh, Garett is there, I love him so much. Next is Alia, I don’t even know what to say about her. I don’t think there’s a child with more attitude and charisma. She’s amazing, and I can’t wait to see the young woman she becomes. Now Corbin, for some reason my heart was touched the day I first saw him more then I can explain. This boy has big things coming. Joeliana, Joeliana, Joeliana…where to start. She’s so young, but I don’t think I’ve met someone sweeter or cuter then her. You see her smile and it seems like the world stopped. Then my little Gorilla as I call him, or, Aiden. This boy is nuts, I think he is made out of solid steel, I don’t know another two year old that can knock me over.
Now the last but not least of all, my parents. My mom, the most incredible woman I know, she really should be put in a history book. I don’t think anyone else could do what she does. I can’t thank her enough. Without her I don’t know who or what I would be. She is incredible, and I love and miss her so much.
And then my Dad. The man that taught me what it actually means to b a man, and taught me most everything else I could have ever needed to try to be the best husband and father in the world. He has given me so much, I don’t know how I could ever repay him. I love and miss him just as much, coffee in the morning just isn’t the same without dad there.
Well, I don’t know if this is exactly what anyone was looking for, for some reason once I started typing the only things that came out is stuff that probably doesn’t mean much, but what was in my heart. It’s kind of hard being off away from my family, but every day they are still in my heart. I have to go now; I’m training for my new job as a Project Manager and Air Monitoring Technician, and have to head to Dallas tomorrow. But there’s my family, a short explanation that does them nowhere near what they deserve, but there will be more to come.
Aut vincere aut mori (Either to conquer or to die)
Jace Hassoldt

3 comments:

  1. Jace, thanks for sharing your heart... it's not easy for any of us to do. Our hearts show more of who we are than anything else, and you showed how much of your family is you. It's hard to grow up (I hate it and I am 46 yo) and it's harder when growing up takes you away from those you love the most. But as you said, there is great comfort in knowing that they are always there for you, whether it is a prayer, word of encouragement, even fighting :c) I guess, bottom line...that' family eh? Good luck in Dallas... it looks like another chapter in your book is about to begin!

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  2. Oh wow--I have tears! What a beautiful post from your young man. How he loves His family :) It is so refreshing to see. I know you miss him terrible, mommy :) I can totally see why!

    Made my day!

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