Saturday, September 26, 2009

She Didn't Know...

I read a blog friend's post this morning...I'm sure she didn't know how much it would stay in my heart!
She always has such beautiful pictures, and wonderful scriptures. I always feel so encouraged as a mother also.
Today, though, the LORD caused me to stop, and listen to something that He has already been telling me.
I'm sure that this blog friend didn't know that the LORD would use her post to stop me and convict me (convict-good; guilt trip-bad).
I use to be a "good mother" (I say that with a chuckle!) know, read to my first two children, tucked them in at night with more reading, prayers, snuggles, played games with them. And or course, much time was spent in perfect discipline and teaching.
Or course, with only a few children, I was also a "perfect homemaker" (again, chuckling at my youthfulness). The house was usually spotless except for the toys that the "good mother" had out. I had plenty of time to nurse my babies, read, cook yummies, and do crafts and other fun things. Why, I could even watch an hour of TV every afternoon and still have everything perfectly ready for my husband when he came home. My children were dressed cute and were clean. I took them to baby gym classes, play know, all the best that we could afford.
Something happened though....the LORD gave us a passion for the orphans of the world, starting with Kiana.
Then two more babies followed her quickly...
I was still doing pretty good at the "perfect" pace I had placed on myself, though I was beginning to get a nervous twitch in my eye-LOL.
The LORD knew and with a twinkle in HIS eye (I'm sure), brought 4 more babies within two years...
Perfection went out the window as I began to look for ways to survive.
Taking care of a large family has been good for me...I have died to my perfection, my abilities, MY desires, my ways...
and I was stripped down to nothing that I could do, except rely on HIM. I gave up all those expectations and "good" ideas of how to do this or that.
Now, with the "slate clean", as they say, the LORD has been bringing HIS ideas to me of "how" to do this or that. I had placed so much guilt on myself because I wasn't parenting or taking care of our home the way I use to....
But that was the point, the LORD was/is pruning those things that will not bear fruit for HIS glory. It's not about MY glory. I am not able WITHOUT HIM.
So how did the LORD use Connie's post today to convict me?
It's time to start "doing" somethings again...only this time in His Perfect Way...relying on Him to show me "what" and "how". But, I haven't quite been listening to Him, partly because I'm tired and partly because I didn't want to get back into the "do it this way to be a good parent...and if you don't, your not..." guilt trips.
I have let the business, and the tiredness keep me from bearing HIS fruit in some areas...
I want the children in bed as quickly as possible so that I can sit...
but I feel that the LORD wants me to start spending a little more time during this precious part of the end of our day.
I don't want to be to busy, or let tiredness, keep me from mothering them HIS way, and enjoying the journey of each day with them. It does take a lot of hard work to manage a larger-than-normal family, however, God has used that to pry my hands off of "how" to do it, and now, I feel more open and ready to find out from Him how to do it.

"Connie, thank you, for your post which has encouraged me to listen to the LORD, and to begin to bless my children and be with them at bedtime instead of rushing them off to sleep."


  1. oh dear sister,I have been guilty of shooing them off to bed to have my selfish "me" time as well and don't have the excuse of having 10, soon to be 11 Treasures!
    I am endeavoring just as you, to be the mother He is calling me to be.
    How wonderful we are learning together, how to raise them up in His word, with His blessing.
    Much Love

  2. Love your family!!!! You are a beautiful picture of God's Love, and even though you are not perfect- Thank God for Christian brothers and sisters that open our eyes. I will be popping over to her blog soon....sometimes I am very guilty too, and I don't want to be that way. I love my children (soon to be 8 of them:)

  3. We all have those days Shonni - it is a LOT of work being a Mom of many blessings - no matter how precious they are.

    God knows your heart and He understands that some days you are just tired. He also knows that through others you will be lifted back up to reach for His help to do exceedingly more than you could on your own. Because He loves you that much too!

    Hugs and blessings from another Mommy who needed the children in bed tonight before 8pm.


  4. Oh, my goodness, Shonni, I was just thinking as I was rocking Ciara to sleep tonight, please fall asleep fast so I can get you in bed because I have stuff to do! Then I looked at that beautiful little face almost asleep and thought to myself, you idiot, you wait 2 1/2 years for her to come home and you want her outta your arms and in bed already?? I sat there for 30 minutes AFTER she went to sleep just holding her and thanking God for this unbelievable gift.

    I constantly have to remind myself how incredibly fast time goes by. I look at my 25 year old and wish I could still rock her, too! Now, wouldn't that make for an interesting blog post?!?


  5. Guilty- We started out right but have now gone to the scurry to bed routine. We got into some bad habits over the summer. Even though I am tired and love my evening time I miss the special bedtime routines we used to have. I know the kids miss them too.

    Great post! Thank you for the reminder! It's time to make the change back!

    I'm heading over to Connie's blog now to read her post!

  6. Thanks so much for YOUR encouraging post. And thank you to Connie for inspiring you.

    Many blessings,

  7. Shonni,
    I love this post. I am Moma to 5 (so far!) and they all came within a few years as well. My husband is an airline pilot, so he tends to be on the road quite a bit. Between his schedule and my homeschooling I can come to the end of the day exhausted, say a quick prayer and put them to bed (a little early occasionally!) just to get some quiet time. I too have heard the Lord telling me to enjoy the evening bedtime with them. It is such a sweet time and they tend to open their hearts just a little bit more before a final hug. I look forward to hearing how your family changes because of your willingness to follow the Holy Spirits prompting! Blessings to you, Kristen

  8. Thank you for speaking into my heart too. I stand in awe!!! 10 kids. thank you for encouraging me with this posting and reminding all of us mommies how precious bedtimes are.
    God Bless
    Love Jules


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...